Category Archives: blessings

Down To The Wire

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Today was my bi-annual follow up appointment with the White Russian. In a nutshell, I’m fine. My blood pressure was a little high, but it was probably because I was worried about not getting there on time. I left work about 30 minutes later than I had planned with an admonition from Terri not to speed. I may have lied and said, “Okay. I won’t.” Which is a bad thing to admit for anybody, but it seems especially horrific for someone who: a) works for a church; and b) is talking to one of the pastors. Lightening didn’t strike, though, so…

And depending on one’s definition of speeding I may or may not have actually done so. 

Definition 1: Exceeding the speed as indicated on those little signs on the side of the road.

Then yes. I sped.

Definition 2: Going faster than every other blessed car on the freeway who happens to be going 10 miles an hour over the posted speed.

Then no. I didn’t speed.

Regardless of whether I sped or not, I did make it to my appointment on time. I’m getting really tired of their efficiency in that office. I never get to read even a paragraph of my book before they’re calling me back or the doctor is coming in or whatever. Very disappointing.

When he did come in he asked about the kids and how Taylor was liking college and what he was doing this summer and if Katie knew where she wanted to go next year, etc. I was almost offended because, you know, it’s supposed to be about me. Everything is supposed to be about me. When will people learn this?

Anyway. Back to me.

The plan is that I have six more months on the Arimidex and then another year on the Fosamax. Well, hopefully only one more year on the Fosamax. It will actually depend on whether or not I start building bone again after I stop the Arimidex. Bottom line, however, is that we don’t want me to be on the Fosamax for much longer. I’m not worried, though. I have a plan…

But I’m going to save that for another day.

So I go back in six more months (February), at which time I will have been on the Arimidex for five years plus the two years on Tamoxifen. The current recommended standard of care. Of course a little over three years ago the recommended standard of care was five years total of any combination. If I go back in February and he tells me the recommended standard of care has changed again and I need to stay on the Arimidex for another allotment of time I think I will respectfully decline. But again, that’s a post for another day.

Unless something has cropped up between now and February – and there’s no reason to think anything will – I will go from seeing him every six months to only once a year. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Not true. I know exactly how I feel about that. I’m not happy about it. For one thing, I like being followed so closely by an oncologist. My risk for a recurrence or metastasis is very slim. My risk of a new cancer is only slightly higher than the average Joe simply because I have a history of cancer. So it’s almost like being followed by an oncologist is an unfair advantage. An unfair advantage that I like.

But the other reason I know I’ll be disappointed to have my visits reduced is because I genuinely like the staff. I really do look forward to seeing them.

Let me be honest though. I would much rather whine and complain about not being able to visit the oncologist more than once a year than have to go once a week, which is what the alternative would be.

After the appointment I drove down to Starbuck’s for my obligatory post-oncology follow up treat. But this time I changed things up a bit. I got a grande mocha cookie crumble frappuccino.

Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino

Coffee blended with mocha sauce, vanilla syrup, chocolaty chips, milk and ice, and topped with chocolaty whipped cream and chocolate cookie crumbles.

  

It was yummy. Really yummy. But I probably won’t get one again just because it was a little too ice cream for me. Don’t get me wrong! I am not against ice cream. At all. I just have certain Starbuck’s expectations and this did not meet my typical criteria. But again, it was very delicious!

I guess I should add that I will miss the obligatory post-oncology follow up treat.

But I’m pretty sure I’ll learn to deal.

Crackalackin’…

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… as in “here’s what’s happening” or “this is what’s going on.” The Urban Dictionary used it in this example:

Bob:  Yo
Joe:  Yo, what’s poppin’ fresh?
Bob:  Not much kid, what’s crackalackin’ 

But as usual, I digress.

A ton has happened since my one sentence post from a week ago. Kids’ Camp was, as usual, phenomenal. Over 1200 kids were registered and we averaged 950 kids each day. And we didn’t lose any!! Tremendous amounts of fun were had by all.

Friday after Kids’ Camp we threw stuff in the car, said goodbye to Sookie and asked her to please stop shedding all over everything, and drove down to DC to spend the weekend with Taylor. The ride was a typical I-95 corridor drive. If you don’t know what that means, here’s the Facebook status I wrote while stuck in traffic:

“I love I-95,” said no one ever.

We finally made it to DC and instead of driving straight to the hotel as originally planned, we met Taylor at his metro stop, drove him by his lodgings so he could pick up a few things and then headed to the Embassy Suites.

To say I was giddy with joy would be an understatement. I had all my peeps in the same room.

Saturday we went to the International Spy Museum.

Veddddy intarestink. Before you can begin in the museum you have to choose an alias. When you finish the museum you have to debrief and, depending on how well you answer the questions, you can either “leave the country” or you will be detained and disavowed. Very Mission Impossible. I was the only one who was allowed to leave.

So now you know. I’m actually an international spy. But I can’t really tell you anything more than that without the risk of blowing my cover.

After that we had a late lunch at Hard Rock Cafe (why is it always the Hard Rock Cafe?)

Next to the Hard Rock is Ford’s Theatre. THE Ford’s Theatre where President Lincoln was shot. Right across the street is the house where he died.

The rest of the day held cupcakes and Starbucks and an awesome jazz band in front of the Verizon Center.

Sunday was a walk around the Mall and a visit to the National History Museum to see dinosaurs and butterflies and diamonds and the like.

Then we walked to Busboys and Poets, a Bohemianesque restaurant that Taylor suggested. It was very yum! By then it was time to head out.

Taylor had decided to follow us home in his truck so he could get the shell he bought on Craigslist and that Todd and I picked up for him a few weeks ago.

It fits and looks much better on Taylor’s truck.

Katie rode with Taylor. It was a quiet ride home from DC…

We noticed that Taylor wouldn’t go even 5 miles over the speed limit, no doubt because of the harsh speeding ticket he got back in January. At one point, however, he started going a little faster. Todd and I decided it was because Katie was still talking and he just wanted to get home as fast as he could. Then we watched as he took a wrong exit. I thought maybe his GPS steered him wrong, but Todd thought he might have offed Katie and wanted to get rid of the evidence before he came home. Turns out I was right.

It was nice to have him for an extra day. He and Todd got the shell on his truck on Monday and I made the most incredible sandwiches for dinner. Sunday night I had been flipping channels and came across a show called “The United States of Bacon”.

I KNOW!!

Anyway, this dude on the show made grilled cheddar cheese, bacon and apricot preserves sandwiches. YES.HE.DID. And so did I. The preserves are sweet but not overly so. The cheddar cheese was tangy. And the bacon. Oh, the bacon. Do I really need to elaborate? The whole combination was sweet and salty and tangy and I can hardly wait to do it again. Is there a rule about the appropriate amount of time between bacon consumption?

Oh yeah. My kid. I got sidetracked by all that talk of bacon. He left between 6:30 and 7:00 and didn’t hit any traffic. Lucky.

So let’s fast forward to today. Todd left yesterday for Akron and he comes home tomorrow. Katie and I went to Phamous Phil’s Barbeque for an early dinner tonight and it was fabulous phabulous. I think my favorite part is the tea. They don’t have sweet tea – a staple at any good Southern barbeque joint. But what they DO have is simple sugar syrup. So when you order tea they bring it and the sugar syrup so you sweeten it to your liking. Like I said. Phabulous. Then again, my favorite part could be the phried fried pickles. Best I ever ate, and I lived in the South for 18 years, y’all!!

Now we’re about to watch a movie, trying to stay up late because she has to be at the church at 1:45 AM.

“Of course she does,” you may be thinking. But then probably not.

She and 25 or 30 other people, mostly teenagers, will be getting on a charter bus that will take them to an airport where they will fly to Guatemala to build houses and properly set up safe stoves. They are all very excited and I can hardly wait to hear all about their trip, mostly because it will mean she’s home safe.

And that, my friends, is what’s been crackalackin’.

~Epilogue~

1:00 in the morning came really fast. So fast that we never did finish the movie. It is now nearly 3:00 in the morning and I’m a little bit wired. That and I had to come back and fix the errors in this post. At 1:00 I hit “Publish” instead of “Preview”. I blame my tiredness. Which is a pretty solid excuse.

But enough about me. The Guatemala team was boarding the bus at 2:15 when I left the church.

I’m all happy and sad and excited and a little bit worried (but not a lot) and am really looking forward to hearing all about it. If you would like to pray I would ask for the following:

  • Safe travels there and back
  • Good health for the entire team
  • A productive trip
  • Peaceful hearts for the moms and dads
  • Changed lives, both in the Guatemala community they’re serving and in the team

I am now officially tired. It is not looking as though I’ll be to work by 8:30 tomorrow morning today. So that’s all the crackalackin’ I’ve got.

Bragging Rights

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I love our church and Sunday mornings are nearly always a joy for me. But there’s one Sunday each year that is my absolute favorite. Student Worship Sunday. This year it happened last Sunday, July 1st.

Yes, I’m a bit partial to one of the singers, seeing as how I birthed her and all. But there is something so moving about watching these kids – all of them – use their incredible talents to lead the congregation in worship.

This first video is of the worship set. The members of the band are: Eric, Student Arts Pastor, guitar and vocals (the dude leading the band); Brad (no relation, though he calls me Mom and I call him son), lead guitar; JC (not actually a student, but all the drummers were out of town so he helped out), drums; Joelle, bass; Erin, keyboards; Katie and Ashley, vocals.

Worship (07-01-12) from CHRIST’S CHURCH OF THE VALLEY on Vimeo.

This next is the communion set with Eric and Katie.

07-01-12 Communion from CHRIST’S CHURCH OF THE VALLEY on Vimeo.

Last (and most definitely least) is a promotional video that Eric and Adam, our High School Pastor, put together for Stretch. Stretch is our very awesome middle school event. And as an added note, Eric wrote this song the night before they filmed this. It’s too bad they don’t have any fun at work.

2012 Stretch Full Throttle Music Video from CHRIST’S CHURCH OF THE VALLEY on Vimeo.

Life and Other Blessings

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 From his abundance we have all received

one gracious blessing after another.

John 1:16

This Palm Sunday morning is a quiet one for me. My dad is sleeping peacefully in his chair, good old Southern Hymns are playing quietly on the CD player and the rest of the family has gone to church. My brother-in-law ministers two churches so this afternoon I’ll drive up to Durango with him and attend the afternoon service. I’m looking forward to visiting with Gary on the trip (maybe we’ll talk about Michele since she won’t be there to defend herself) and also attending the Durango church.

But this morning I’m having my own private service. There is still a lot of uncertainty as to what the future of this family holds, but this past week has been one blessing after another. I know and I trust God to be “an ever present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1) and he’s proved himself in this way time and time again, and yet I’m always awed by the abundance of his tender love and mercy.

God is good, all the time.

All the time, God is good.

 

Life And Other Troubles

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In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart! I have overcome the world!

John 16:33b

A few months ago Todd purchased a roundtrip ticket from Philly to Durango so I could come visit my parents, sister and brother-in-law in Farmington, New Mexico. My other sister decided to drive out from Fort Worth so we could all hang out together. What was supposed to originally be a pleasant family visit turned into something else. A few nights before I was to fly in, my father fell in the parking lot outside my folks’ apartment, knocking himself out and requiring an ambulance ride to the hospital. Apparently this 85-year-old man is made of steel because he only required three staples in his head. No broken bones, no cracked skull… just a few scabs and an insanely large bruise from the top of his left hip down to nearly his knee.

The problem is that Dad has lost a lot of mobility over the last several years and, while he was doing really well before the fall, this accident set him back quite a ways. Another problem is that he has moderate dementia. Sometimes he’s lucid, sometimes he’s not and then other times he hallucinates. It might be Alzheimers or it might just be regular, plain old dementia. Alzheimers is very difficult to diagnose without an autopsy but the symptoms are very similar. So I say dementia/alzheimers – tomato/tomahto.

A third problem is that my mother, though a sharp and spry 79-year-old, is also only 4’8″ (I won’t mention the inch she says she’s lost as she’s gotten older). Caring for him 24/7 has taken its toll physically, mentally and emotionally and she just can’t do it anymore. At least not without some respite.

Some would call it luck, others coincidence, but my sisters and I know without a shadow of a doubt that Terri and I weren’t scheduled to be here at this exact time by happenstance. We’ve been able to help my mother with the physical aspect of caring for my father and, together with my local sister, Michele, have been able to get some practicalities taken care of. We’ve seen an attorney about how best to protect Mom’s assets and met with Dad’s doctor about what he needs at the moment.

Dr. Burns would have liked him to go to a rehabilitation facility, but that would have required a three night stay in the hospital before Medicare would pay for it. Unfortunately (or so we thought) the hospital only kept him for one night and we didn’t know the 3 midnights rule at that time.

But God, in his infinite wisdom, had this all figured out. Tuesday a hospital bed was delivered to Gary and Michele’s house and yesterday we moved Dad in. I’m not entirely sure when it’s going to start, but Dr. Burns prescribed physical therapy and a few other skilled nursing services and Dad will receive these services at my sister’s house.

He’s already doing much better physically than he was even a week ago and our hope is that, at a minimum, he will get back to the same level of mobility he was at before the fall.

This move and therapy and whatnot is what I think of as Phase I in Dad’s care. What Phase II is we don’t quite know yet. It will depend on how well he does with therapy and how quickly or slowly his dementia progresses and, well, a whole host of factors. Not to get all Scarlet on you, but I’ll think about that tomorrow.

I can’t write about this without bragging on my friends for a moment. I’ve had close to a bajillion people praying for my family the past week. Or maybe only a bunch. I’m not too good at math. Anyway, I have felt the power of those prayers on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.

When Todd and I went through the Great Cancer Debacle of ’05, God provided this precious pearl of wisdom: Pray for joy and laughter. Regardless of your circumstance, pray for joy and laughter. So at some point while requesting prayers I prayed for wisdom and courage, but also for joy and laughter. God has provided in abundance.

Please understand this has been an emotional week full of tears and anxieties and anger and unacceptance and, well, you get the idea. BUT it has also been a week full of happy reminiscences, delight in being together, pride in our ability to do what we need to do and, my absolute favorite of all, laughter.

Let me just give you a small idea of what’s gone on around here. For those of you who know my dad you’ll easily see Earl in these examples.

Terri, Mom and myself were watching a program on bullying. My father said something to my mom and she said, “It’s a show on bullying.” I was sitting in front of him and he said:

“I’m being bullied by a bunch of girls.”

********

I got up with the intention of: 1- going to the bathroom; 2- eating breakfast; and 3- brushing my teeth. Instead I went to the bathroom and then brushed my teeth. It wasn’t until I walked out of the bathroom that I remembered my original plan. I looked at my dad, smacked my head and said, “I’m losing my mind, Daddy!” He said, “Join the club.”

********

Mom and Dad were watching the Gaithers and Sue Dodge was on. My parents kind of know her and Dad was trying to tell Terri and me that her husband was “that Baptist pastor.” But what came out was “that bastard pastor.” Extreme hilarity ensued.

*****

Mom: Do you want vanilla ice cream?

Dad: Yes. And I would like butterscotch on it.

Mom: We only have chocolate syrup.

Dad: Well what I really want is chocolate on my ice cream.

****

After helping Mom give Dad a shower, getting him dressed and then out to his chair, he fell into it with a big sigh. I asked how he was.

Dad: I’m turd. Tired!

Me: Did you say you’re a turd?

Dad: (smiling) You noticed how fast I changed that.

******

Mom: (to Dad) You can go pee and then we’ll get your jammies on and after that you can go to bed and sleep alllllll night.

Dad: (dryly) Optimist.

******

Mom: (to Dad) Relax.

Me & Terri: Relax! Don’t do it!…

Mom: (to Dad) Your girls are silly.

Dad: My girls were good girls while they lived at home.

He will once again fill your mouth with laughter

and your lips with shouts of joy.

Job 8:21

This Week in Review

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No, I have not received my new computer yet. No, I am not typing this on my phone. I’ve hijacked Katie’s computer until I get my new one next week. Shhh.

I have a full plate today, but thought I might throw a few words up on the page while I have a minute or two. Taylor came home for spring break last Saturday. It’s been an enjoyable visit. I even took Wednesday off just so I could hang out with him for a bit. It was a glorious day and he and I went on a walkabout on one of our local trails. It was a beautiful walk and we just chatted and chatted and before we realized it, we’d been walking nearly an hour. One way. Which meant we had to walk back that same distance. All said and done we were on the trail about an hour and a half and our round trip mileage was somewhere between 8 and 9 miles. THAT translated into 7 Weight Watchers activities points so I had pie that night! All around great day.

Yesterday he drove about 2 hours to Carlilse where he met up with his girlfriend, Shelby, and her grandmother. She lives in Pittsburg and is spending the rest of the break with us. Shelby. Not her grandmother. Todd and I spent an enjoyable morning with them, getting to know Shelby a little better and drinking coffee. Not in that order.

Today they’ve gone into Philadelphia and tomorrow they’ll head back down to Lynchburg. And then Sunday I’ll be wishing it was closer to Easter so we could go down there and see him again.

Speaking of Weight Watchers activities points and all that, I am continuing to go down. Slowly, but surely, and that will work for me. I even pulled a pair of pants out of the back of the closet this morning just to see if they might almost fit. Guess what! They fit!! Perfectly!! Except they’re too short. But I’m okay with that. With spring trying to spring I now have a new/old pair of crop jeans!

On a sad note, my mother’s brother, better known to me and my sisters as Uncle Del, passed away earlier this week. He lived in Fresno with my Aunt Thea and I remember how excited I would get when they would come visit us in Southern California or when we would go visit them. They have two sons so Uncle Del was a bit protective of me and my sisters. The first time he met Todd he told him he couldn’t date me until I was 30 and asked if he had a problem with that. Todd probably said, “No, Sir” (with no intention of not dating me – smart man) and then we spent the evening playing Hearts with Del, Thea and my parents. Much laughter ensued. Of course, Uncle Del kept up the no dating thing throughout.

Here’s a picture that his grandson, Brian, scanned and posted on my Facebook Wall. It was taken in 2004 on a family get together in Durango, Colorado, which was the last time I saw Uncle Del. It’s now one of my favorite pictures. The man with the beard is my dad and the other man is Uncle Del. Brothers-in-law for nearly 59 years and two of my most favorite men. Don’t they both just say “huggable”?

As sad as it is to lose someone you love, I’m thankful he is at peace and breathing easy now. I also know I’ll catch up with him some day. Maybe we’ll play a rousing game of Hearts for old time’s sake. I would take this a step further and say maybe Jesus would play, too, but I think he probably has an unfair advantage. You know, being the Christ and all.

I Spent a Week in Akron One Day…

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I’ve been in Ohio with Todd since Sunday evening. His home office is here, he had to spend the week in the office and the company Christmas party is tonight. You know what that means… Yeah. Me neither.

Anyhoo, I decided to come along for a week of R&R – Reading and wRiting. Or RR&S – Reading, wRiting and Stuff. It may sound a bit boring, but it’s actually been fabulous. Every morning I get up when I get up, drink some coffee, read a little, write a little, spend an hour on a stationary bike in the fitness room (super easy to do because I was able to read at the same time. It was win/win!), shower, read, write, go get something for dinner with Todd, etc.

The truck was packed to the gills when we left Pennsylvania. I brought my suitcase, of course. And I brought my camera and computer bag filled with my camera, three lenses, a flash, a charging cord, my computer and it’s charging cord, another bag with stuff I could do in case I ran out of other stuff to do, a filing box, Christmas cards, address book and stamps, wrapping paper and tape, my kindle and charger, my bible and bible study book, six pairs of shoes, my regular jacket and my nice jacket, two scarves, my iPhone and my special docking station/charger from work and that might be it. I pretty much moved into the hotel.

Since the Christmas party is tonight I decided to have a little professional grooming done so as not to embarrass Todd in front of his colleagues. I hear cave woman is no longer en vogue. So I went to the mall across the street and had a simple manicure, after which I endured some facial waxing. The dude (yes, it was a dude) nipped me while he was cutting my cuticles. Good thing for him I have a high pain tolerance; otherwise his right shin might be feeling a bit like my right pointer finger. Other than that one incident it was a very pleasant and one of the better manicures I’ve had. I don’t usually put color on my nails but since it’s a party tonight I had him put on some sparkly stuff. Because my motto is, “If a sparkly boy vampire is cool, how much more cool are sparkly fingernails on a woman for a Christmas party?” Okay. That’s not really my motto. I just now said it for the first time. But there is a certain truth to it, don’t you think?

After that it was time to wax the eyebrows. I had hoped he understood when I said I didn’t want thin or high arched eyebrows, but it sure felt like he was waxing off everything. All I could think was, “I’ve already done the no eyebrow thing and I didn’t like it, thank you very much.” But I didn’t bother saying that because I still don’t think he would have understood me. Turns out he left me a significant amount of browage and they look pretty good, all shaped up nicely and everything.

I also had him wax my lip. I figured there’s no way to mess that up. Except now I have a raw spot right below my nose where the wax ripped a little more than hair.

So now tonight I’ll go to Todd’s company Christmas party, meet these people for the first time and try to forget the bloody stump I have for a fingernail and the big, red, raw spot above my lip that’s glaring at everybody. At least my eyebrows look good.

After that I perused the mall but didn’t find anything I had to have so I left and drove straight to Barnes and Noble. There I got a bite to eat and a venti Eggnog Latte with whip. I was trying to comfort myself after my traumatic experience. Then I just walked around and it was delightful. Even though I have a Kindle now I still love walking around a book store. The smell of the paper mingled with the coffee and the leather seats… I think Yankee Candle should make a candle called “Bookstore Coffee Shop with Leather Seats”.

After that it was off to Target for eye liner and a few other things. I’ve come to realize I can never, ever get out of the house with every essential piece of makeup. I also needed some cash – a five spot to be precise – so I got $20 from the ATM. Then I had the dilemma of how to break the twenty. Lucky for me there was a Panera in the shopping center. The same Panera that Todd and I went to dinner at the other night. The same Panera that had these delicious looking mint crinkle cookies, those same cookies as what called out to me the other night. Those same cookies as what called out to me but I ignored. Or so I thought.

It’s not that I really wanted them. I just had to break the twenty. So being the industrious person that I am, I went in and bought two. And they went really well with my eggnog latte. And the powdered sugar looks really pretty on my black t-shirt.

All in all it’s been a great week. I didn’t need but about a fourth of what I brought, but that’s okay. I’m all about being prepared. Just ask my family. I always make them pack however many days worth of underwear plus two or three extra. One never knows when that extra pair might come in handy. Like when Katie starts laughing so hard and says, “Oh! Stop! I think I’m going to pee myself.” (I’m sorry to share that with you. Hopefully she’s not reading this.)

Tomorrow morning we’ll pack up the truck (it could take a while) and then hit the road. We’re both anxious to get home. Todd’s parents came in from California Wednesday night and Taylor will be getting home this evening. I’m all about hugging that boy’s neck right now. And I can’t even tell you how much I’ve missed my girl! And Katie too. (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

Best Weekend Ever

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Day One, Thursday:

We had a firm, no exceptions departure time of 9-ish AM and successfully met the “ish” portion of our goal by pulling out of the driveway at 10:30. Our normal 6 hour, one stop drive turned into an 8 hour, four stop trip. Partly because of all the fluids I was drinking to keep my system flushed and partly because the truck runs through fuel like poo through a goose when pulling the trailer. Or maybe in this case it would be more appropriate to say it runs through fuel like pee through me when drinking a lot of fluids to keep my system flushed. Besides, I’m not so sure the “poo through a goose” saying is accurate. I’m not hip to the bowel habits of water fowl.

Anyhoo, we finally made it to the Virginia Byway, the road the campground was on. When I had originally put the campground address in the GPS (which on several occasions throughout the day wanted us to take some crazy route) only Virginia Byway showed up, no actual address. As we were winding our way west, blinded by the setting sun and trying to find the campground, it was like we fell off the end of the earth. There were no roads on the GPS, only a river. Not only that, but we had no phone service at all. And then we heard dueling banjos.

Just when I had given up all hope (not really, but it sounds so much more dramatic this way) we saw the light. Literally. We saw the light from the campground sign. We checked in, Todd got the trailer set up and we settled in for the evening. Unfortunately we were unable to call Taylor to let him know we made it safe and sound.

Day Two, Friday:

Katie, Sookie and I did a little exploring this morning and the campground is really nice. There’s a lovely pond full of ducks that intrigued Sooks to no end, but thankfully she didn’t try to catch one. Though if she had maybe I would know the deal with the poo and the goose, or duck, which I figure a duck’s fecal habits are probably very similar to a goose’s. We had a delicious breakfast of pancakes (no bacon – we’re saving it all for tomorrow’s breakfast) and Todd has gone off the mountain for a Wal-Mart run and to contact Taylor. The plan is once Taylor finishes his last class for the day at 1:00 he’ll come up and stay for a bit. He also has some friends that are coming up tonight for a weenie roast and s’mores-a-thon.

So stay tuned…

And I’m back.

Todd made contact with Taylor and gave him directions to the campground. Take Business Rte. 29 South out of Lynchburg to 130, aka Amherst Byway, aka Virginia Byway, aka Elon Byway where you take a left and drive about 16 miles to the campground on the right. Taylor said he’d be out to the trailer around 3:00. So when he hadn’t showed up by 4:00 this mama was getting a little agitated. Not only was my child somewhere between here and there, he had no way to get a hold of us. Once again Todd made his way down the mountain so he could call Taylor. Katie and I took Sookie for a walk and napped and watched a little Sleepy Hollow – anything to keep my mind off both my boys who should have been here and not there.

Finally they both pulled in around 5:30 and this was one happy mama! I think I nearly hugged Taylor’s head right off. Turns out he followed Todd’s directions – Business Rte. 29 South. Except the campground is north of Lynchburg.

Another hour or so later three of Taylor’s friends from school arrived. We roasted hot dogs and made s’mores and I think they had a good time. Eventually the friends left and the four of us settled in for the night.

At that moment, with Katie in her bunk and Taylor on the couch and Todd and Sookie and I on the bed (yes, I said Sookie. Don’t judge.), I was perfectly content. Not just a little, not even just a lot, but totally and completely.

Day Three, Saturday:

Taylor had to get up early and drive back to school for work. Good thing he knows the way now. The rest of us had a fairly lazy morning. Well, Todd did have to go back into town to buy sweatpants. He only brought shorts. I would go on about how I told him multiple times in the last week that it was going to be deliciously chilly this weekend and how yesterday he said he saw my lips moving but he never listened to what I was saying, but that would be rude and cast him in a bad light. And he’s already got the directionally challenged thing going against him so I’ll be a good wife and not harp.

And now I’m going to go outside and cook up the two pounds of bacon I brought to have with breakfast yesterday and today, but will be eating on BLTs and possibly burgers tonight instead.

So until the next time…

I’m back. I cooked two pounds of bacon in an electric griddle on the picnic table outside. I’ve decided bacon should always be cooked outside. Just saying’. Taylor showed up just as I was finishing my classic BLT and asked if that was his. I love him and I’m a good mom, but I’m not THAT good of a mom. He had to make his own.

The four of us watched RV – which never, EVER gets old – and then Todd grilled hamburgers. After dinner we played Bookopoly, a book version of Monopoly. I despise that game. Really a lot. But that’s what the kids wanted to play so fine. I’m kind of a good mom so that’s what we played. I don’t think it’s fair that nobody ever wants to play Scrabble. But do I whine about it? No.

Not a lot, anyway.

Maybe a little.

Anyway, Katie and I are much too ethical and not shrewd at all so we decided to consolidate our efforts and STILL ended up in the poor house. Todd and Taylor, on the other hand, concern me a little. Smarmy wheeler dealers, if you ask me. Sure, they both ended up with bank loads of money, but are they really happy? At least Katie and I know what’s important.

Taylor left to go down the mountain in the rain at about 10:30 last night. The mom in me hated – HATED – the fact we didn’t have phone coverage and he wouldn’t be able to call me when he got home. Does that ever end? I think prolly not. *sigh*

Todd turned the heater on last night and we think the clinks and clanks messed with Sookie’s delicate sensibilities because she was shaky and whiney and generally annoying. Seeing as how Todd was going to have to drive home through 15 miles of switchbacks or so pulling a 30 foot trailer, I felt he should probably get some sleep. So I mostly dealt with the dog, though her scratching and woofing still woke up Todd.

Which leads me to…

Day Four, Sunday

Our plan was to get an earlier start for our trip home than we managed on the way down. We figured we’d get up around 7:30 or so, secure stuff, hook up and get on the road around 9:00. Once again we got on the road around 10:30. The difference this time was that we managed the trip in 6½ hours as opposed to 8.

I did have a text from Taylor waiting for me when we finally got to where there was service. That and 80+ emails.

Now we’re home and everybody is comfortable, especially the dog. She’s sound asleep. Because, you know, keeping people up all night is exhausting business.

Just Another Oncology Appointment

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This coming Wednesday I’m going to see my wonderful oncologist, otherwise known as The White Russian, for my 6 month check up. I’m pretty sure I know how it will pan out. I’ll sit in the waiting room happily reading until the nurse calls my name. She and I will walk back to the nurse’s station while she blames me for the weight she’s gained because I happened to tell her about Hope’s Cookies and now she can’t ever drive by there without stopping. Then, just to be spiteful I’m sure, she’ll make ME stand on the scale (at which time I’ll tell her again that I’ll be a good 30 pounds less the next time she sees me) and drain a couple vials of blood from my arm.

Once I get to the examination room I’ll be depressed about the weight she just recorded for all of eternity and The White Russian will walk in, disturbing my lamentations, and say how great it is to see a healthy person. Then I’ll feel bad about my whining when I would take every single ounce and then some if it meant not having cancer anymore.

He will ask how my summer was and what my family did. I’ll tell him we drove to Arkansas for a week to visit friends and family and how we didn’t get to see half the people we would have liked to. Then I’ll tell him how I flew to Seattle the following week to spend some time in a beach house with four other women. We’ll also talk about the tight, tingling, almost painful pressure my left arm feels whenever I fly or even ride in the car for any length of time without any support and he’ll look for signs of lymphedema. Thankfully he won’t find any unusual swelling and I’ll be told to keep wearing the compression sleeve when I fly and hopefully we’ll dodge this particular bullet.

After that we’ll discuss the stiffness in my joints and other bodily aches and we’ll decide that since it’s not debilitating pain I’ll just remain on the Arimidex for another 15 months. This is when I’ll realize I’m only little more than a year out from my 5-year goal and that will make me happy.

Most likely The White Russian will order a bone density scan because the combination of no ovaries and the Arimidex make for early onset osteoporosis. He’ll also probably decide I should have a colonoscopy because I haven’t had one yet and colon cancer is somehow closely related to breast cancer. Not only that, but there is a history of colon cancer in my family.

We will also look at my blood work which will no doubt look good except for my white count and other immune system related values. They might be within normal limits, but I can tell you right now they’re going to be low. How do I know this? Well for one thing they’re always on the low side of normal. In the nearly four years I’ve been finished with chemo they have never gotten very far above the line. But I’ve also managed to wear myself down which always results in a thick and swollen tongue, my own personal telltale sign of a low WBC. When it’s really bad, like it was after my trip to Seattle, minor cuts and blisters won’t heal and I’ll get a funky feeling that I just can’t describe so I’m not even going to try.

Thrown in between all this clinical stuff he’ll ask about my kids. When I tell him Taylor is now a senior in high school he’ll ask about his desired major and college. He’ll also ask how Katie likes high school and what do I think about being on this end of parenting. The White Russian will tell me a little about his family and their summer and before I know it my visit will be over.

I’ll then get to Peggy’s desk and we’ll chat for a moment and schedule my next appointment for sometime around March or so. And while I’m so happy I don’t have to make weekly or even monthly visits to the oncologist anymore, I’ll be just the teensiest bit sad that I don’t get to see these people for another six months. But then I’ll stop at Starbuck’s on my way home for a Venti White Chocolate Mocha with whip (Weight Watcher’s points don’t count on oncology days) and all will be right with the world.

I do wish I hadn’t gained all this weight (which I blame all on the various treatments I’ve been through since diagnosis) and I would love it if my body would be more cooperative and less stiff and achy. I’m very conscious about the possibility of lymphedema and I’m a little angry about the whole osteoporosis thing. The thing that bothers me the most right now is the white counts and the swollen tongue. How weird is that? It’s always swollen, but it gets worse when I’m feeling bad or overly tired and it gets in the way when I’m trying to talk and I’m always biting the sides with my sharp carnivorous molars.

Nobody ever tells you about all the stuff you have to deal with AFTER treatment, even if you don’t have any more cancer. But I’ll take all of it just to get to my 5-year goal and hear those magic words, “No Evidence of Disease”. And as I’m driving home I’ll start relaxing, even though I didn’t realize just how tense I was. I always expect a good report, but somewhere in the far reaches of my mind I suppose I fear the worst.

Finally, I’ll start thinking about those I know who don’t get to hear those words that I’m sure to. The women who are dealing with a recurrence or a metastasis, those who seem to be losing their fight, and especially those we’ve had to say goodbye to. My joy at another good report will be dimmed by the sadness for those who are not as fortunate and I’ll be reminded just how horrific cancer is.

And in six months I’ll do it all again.

Cross-posted at Mothers With Cancer

The Party’s Over…

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Last night I caught the red eye out of SeaTac for a non-stop to Philly where I landed around 7:00 this morning. Which was 4:00 AM to my Pacific Time Zone adjusted self. Thankfully I have nothing to do today other than sleep, readjust and download over 1200 pictures Precious blessed me with. Not 1200 good pictures. Just 1200 pictures. Which is taking FOR.EH.VER…

I had the complete joy of getting together with four of the most amazing women this past weekend. Jewels in My Crown, LVCG, His Girl and CPQ. Seriously incredible girls and they let ME hang out with them in a beach house on Whidbey Island that Jewels in My Crown graciously shared with us.

We laughed so much my stomach hurt. There were a lot of perilously-close-to-peeing-our-pants moments. We also cried a little here and there as we shared the less than joyous situations we’ve found ourselves in — we all have a story — but those tears nearly always turned into the happy tears that come from witnessing God’s kindness and mercy through those difficult times.

The island was beautiful and the weather perfect. While the tide was out we scoured the shoreline for sand dollars and shells and found crabs and sea snails (disgusting) and barnicals and all sorts of interesting things. We explored a couple of charming towns with their quaint shops, ate delicious food – both at the house and in town – mosied through a farmer’s market and strolled through the sweet smelling lavendar farm.

Yesterday we snapped pictures of the original Starbuck’s and waited around to see fish being thrown at Pike’s Market, but the best we got to see was a package of crab being thrown and impressively caught by a guy while holding a steaming cup of coffee. Sadly we had to take LVCG to the airport fairly early and then the rest of us returned to Seattle to explore some more.

Finally it was time to come home. I was happy to get home to the family, but I would be lying if I said I was ready for the weekend to be over. It was the type of get away that was absolutely perfect. I honestly can’t think of anything that would have made it better. Except another week or so.

Like usual, there’s so much more to the weekend. I’ve just glossed over the highlights, but I still have about 800 pictures to continue downloading so this will have to do for now. So much to blog… so little time.