WOW

Last night was a family affair at our church’s youth group. My son played electric bass in the worship band, my husband worked the tech booth, I registered the students and my daughter? My daughter blew me away.

We have a large number of kids who come on Sunday nights so the youth is divided into two groups. At 6:00 the junior high kids (6th through 8th) have a worship service and the senior high kids just hang out. At 7:00 they switch. We are in between youth ministers right now and we have these incredible college students who are filling in while we’re looking for the perfect fit. Last night was April’s turn to speak and her topic was worrying.

She had called Katie earlier in the week to ask her if she would be willing to come up on stage and talk about her worries from a few years ago. Katie agreed so last night I stepped in to hear what she had to say. I hate to be redundant, but she blew me away.

Katie will be 14 in less than two months. She has a beautiful singing voice and I’m always amazed when she gets up and sings in front of a bunch of people. But I’d never heard her speak in front of a crowd before. My baby girl was replaced by an eloquent and poised young lady. She said she was a little nervous speaking to the high school kids because they’re older, but you sure couldn’t tell. She seemed so calm and confident and I was one very proud mama.

She told the audiences when she was ten her dad got a job in Pennsylvania so he quit his job in Little Rock. She said how she worried about moving so far away and not knowing anybody. She talked about how her mom got breast cancer before her dad had even started his new job and how she was worried her mother wasn’t going to be around. She said her father came home every other weekend and how afraid she was her relationship with “Daddy” was going to change and not be close anymore. *sigh* So much for a ten-year-old to worry about. But she also talked about how her mom is okay now, how she has great friends and likes it up here, how she hasn’t lost touch with her friends from Arkansas, and how she and her dad are as close as ever.

Apparently nobody told Dad what she was going to be talking about so it caught him totally unawares. Poor guy. I was standing on the opposite side of the tech booth and could hear him sniffing while one of the teenage boys who work in there with him was patting him on the back. Thankfully I was prepared, though it still choked me up. I’m not sure if it was because of what she said or because of the overwhelming pride I felt. Probably a bit of both.

Or maybe it was simply the fact that she’s okay. All the trauma this family has been through and she’s okay. She didn’t come away scarred. She’s a little less naive and a little more aware. But she’s okay. And isn’t that what every mother wants for her child?

Crossposted at Mothers with Cancer

So Much For A Relaxing Saturday

The morning held such promise. I slowly awoke to the sound of a drenching rain pattering on the roof. Snuggling further into the blankets, I smiled at the thought of doing mostly nothing all day. Todd and I had to drive into his office for our flu shots, but other than that my day was whatever I wanted it to be.

After lazing around with a couple cups of coffee we headed off for our shots. We decided to hit Costco afterward since it’s not too much further, but not before stopping at Starbuck’s for my traditional post anything-slightly-resembling-a-medical-type-procedure Venti White Chocolate Mocha. By the time we got to Costco it was starting to rain pretty good.

We fought the crowds and wandered up and down the aisles until we couldn’t fit anything else into the cart. When we came out it was pouring like the liquid of your choice out of a boot. I ran up ahead of Todd to unlock the car and he threw our purchases into the back as fast as he could. He took the cart to the corral and as he shoved it in with his foot his other foot slipped, causing him to fly up into the air and land on his back, his head bouncing on the slick pavement like a rubber ball. He wasn’t nauseous or seeing double, so he drove home.

Thankfully the rain let up this afternoon because Todd and Taylor had to help our good friend, Ben, move out of his apartment and into our house. Most of his stuff went to the infamous Matt Silver’s basement, but he’s going to be living with us until he gets married next spring.

Todd has a blackbelt in Isshinryu Karate, but he hasn’t practiced it in years. Still, boys will be boys and when Taylor found out Ben was going to throw away some old slats from his bed, Tay asked Todd to break the wood with his hand. I think flexing muscles and moving furniture stirs up the testosterone because Todd took the ridiculous challenge. Twice. The only thing he managed to break was the skin on his knuckle. Thankfully he stopped trying when his hand went numb. He said Taylor laughed so hard he had to hold his jimmies while he rolled on the floor. Can someone explain that to me? Not being equipped in that way I don’t understand.

As Ben and Todd were finishing in Ben’s room I left to take Katie to Applebee’s. She and Taylor had been invited by some of the young adults to Buddy Night and Taylor was meeting everyone there with another friend who had helped Ben move. I dropped her off and cruised home with the sunroof open and the iPod blaring. Ben had gone to band practice (he leads the youth and adult band at church) and Todd and I were going to enjoy some quiet alone time with a little Thai food and a glass of Riesling.

I was the only one to have a glass of wine, but we both had the Thai I picked up on my way home and our quiet time resulted in both of us falling asleep while watching a movie on TV. I had just awoken when the phone rang. It was Katie calling to tell me the group had gone to Nelson’s for ice cream and she thought she may have eaten a peanut. For more on her nut allergy you can read here.

I grabbed the EpiPen and Todd and I flew out the door. Cristie, the girl who organized the Buddy Night, met us at a Wawa with Katie and we drove on to the hospital. I kept talking to her so I could listen to her and make sure her throat wasn’t closing up. It was a relief to hear her clear and calm voice and know she wasn’t having a terrible reaction.

We had to maneuver around a horrible accident and finally made it to the hospital. She was given preferential treatment because of the nature of her visit, but because her breathing was fine we weren’t rushed back. When we did make it to the back Katie hopped up on the gurney and leaned back, only to sit back up with a funny look on her face. Todd asked if she was feeling sick and she nodded her head. The hippie doctor handed her a little spit bowl just in time.

Todd grabbed the tiny bowl and held it for her as she threw up mass quantities of stuff with the force of a power washer. Suffice it to say the little spit bowl wasn’t big enough. Oh, and if I hadn’t already asked what she had to eat at Applebee’s we could have guessed. Nachos. When she finished her hurl session she and Todd hobbled into the bathroom to clean up and the nurse came in to change the sheet on the gurney.

Then he picked up the overflowing puke pot, sloshing the contents onto the floor, and threw it – contents and all – into the biohazardous waste bin. Todd and Katie came back and she looked much better. Todd, on the other hand, looked much worse for the wear. All I can say is it’s a good thing he was there because if I had been holding the plastic vomitorium and the barf splashed onto my hands the nurse would have had a whole lot more to clean up.

Tossed cookies aside, it was a fairly uneventful emergency room visit. No IVs. No shots. No drama. Just the constant smell of nachos and something unspeakable. My Dove deodorant smelled MUCH better. Thank heaven – or not – for Todd’s camera phone:

After Katie drank some water and kept it down without a problem she was given Benadryl and Pepcid – both pills – and a liquid steroid. She tossed it back like a kid at a frat party and we all held our breath as we watched her to see if it would make her throw up. I even said, “I’m sure that tasted better than all that disgusting stuff you let loose with,” and she just shook her head no. Okay, then.

They had us stay another ten minutes or so to make sure she tolerated the medicine without incident and then we were released. A shower, a glass of water and a nice, cozy bed was the thing for her when we got home. Washing everybody’s clothes was the thing for me.

Now it’s 11:30. Katie’s asleep, Todd’s watching the ballgame in bed, Ben is in his room and I’m waiting for Taylor to get home from Buddy Night. This would be the nice, relaxing part of my Saturday.

Long Beach

I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic lately so you can expect to read about some defining moments of my life over the next few months. I’m not so sure today’s post actually counts as a defining moment, but the memory signifies a major turning point in my life.

Two years ago at this time Todd and I were in Long Beach, California. He had a conference there and I tagged along as I often did with his business trips. Todd had flown to Chicago the previous Sunday, taking with him only a carry on bag for his one day meeting on Monday. The plan was I’d bring the rest of his clothes with me since I’d be needing the big suitcase anyway. Our flights met in Salt Lake City Tuesday and then we flew to Long Beach together.

It wasn’t until we got to the hotel that I realized I had completely forgotten all his clothes – the business clothes he was going to need for three days of meetings. I don’t know why I laugh in these situations, knowing he’s going to be less than pleased. But I do, and I did, and the more I laughed I think the angrier he got, which only made me laugh harder. So we walked for literally miles, looking for some type of clothing store. The only one we found was a West Coast Chopper’s store and he didn’t think leather pants would be appropriate. Turns out if we’d only turned right at the corner we would have run into all kinds of shops within a block of the hotel. It all turned out fine and he ended up with some nice new clothes. So I think I actually did him a favor.

Thursday was St. Patrick’s Day and we took my very Irish friend, Sheila, out to dinner and had a wonderful time. Friday evening we had dinner with other friends, John and Cathy, laughed until we cried, walked around Long Beach and saw one of the dumbest movies I think I’ve ever seen (Constantine). Saturday was another day of hanging out with John and Cathy and their three beautiful girls and Sunday we flew back home.

It was a great trip, a carefree time, and the memory will forever be precious to me. We had no idea that the following week would set things in motion that would drastically change our lives. Two life-altering events that were completely separate yet have become one experience to my mind.

It’s hard for me to describe the feeling of frenzy that happened after that. It was like being caught in a whirlwind and before we could jump out and calm down we were picked up by a devastating tornado, spinning us in two different directions.

Week 1 – Todd is given the opportunity to interview with a similar-type company near Valley Forge, Pennsylvania.

Week 2 – Todd interviews with the company in Valley Forge, Pennsylvania.

Week 3 – Todd and I both fly to Pennsylvania to get an idea of whether or not we’d even want to move there.

Week 4 – I have my yearly gynecological appointment and a lump in my left breast that needs checking.

Week 5 – Todd accepts the new job and resigns the old job.

Week 5 – I’m diagnosed with breast cancer.

Week 6 – I have a left mastectomy.

Week 8 – Todd moves to Pennsylvania.

Week 10 – I start chemotherapy.

Our trip to Long Beach had absolutely nothing to do with these things, but in my mind I view it as the last page in an easy and nearly perfect chapter of our lives. Sort of that last deep breath before you plunge into the frigid water, but at least then you know what you’re about to get yourself into.

There were times when I thought we were spinning out of control, and I suppose we were. But that was okay because even then we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God WAS in control. And I see our little getaway to Long Beach – visiting with good friends we don’t see often; several hours of responsibility-free solitude to read; time to reconnect as a husband and wife, not a mom and dad – as a gift. Like a last little vacation before starting a new and grueling job. And THAT’S why the memory of such a seemingly insignificant trip means so much to me.