Category Archives: school

If You’ve Ever…

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… had to read with your child for school – this link is for you.

… been told the night before a big project is due that, well, a big project is due – this link is for you.

… had to dress your kid up in some kind of a costume for school – this link is for you.

… been ready for summer before your kid – this link is for you.

And if you just like to laugh – the kind of laugh that makes you snort and unintentionally spew beverages – this link is for you.

Jen Hatmaker – Worst End of School Year Mom Ever

 

Five on Friday – First Edition

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My friend, Gretchen, stole borrowed this from my friend, Susan, so I’m stealing borrowing it from Gretchen and, in effect, Susan.

    Five Random Facts

1. Yesterday in my mad dash to get home from work, take Katie to voice, run errands while she was at voice, get her back home, inhale a bite to eat, freshen up and head back to the school for New Family Orientation I almost missed a lovely sight. As I waited at a stop light the large tree that I sat under started shedding its leaves. I realize it’s too early for fall, but golden leaves rained down all around me and it was glorious in its imitation of autumn. Have I ever mentioned I love fall?

2. As stated in number 1, last night was the New Family Orientation for the preschool. That means preschool starts on Tuesday. I can’t believe it’s already time for another year. It’s nice to have the teachers back and see their rooms looking like classrooms again.

3. Wednesday I got to do something vastly entertaining. I went on a photo shoot with our student ministries department +1. It was such a blast because they’re just so much fun. I kind of forgot for a while that I was old enough to be their mother!

4. Tomorrow I get to be the second photographer with my insanely creative and photographic genius friend, Gail, at a wedding for another friend, David. I’m really looking forward to it because: a) anytime spent with Gail is a trip in the best sense of the word; b) I get to hang out with the groomsmen who are tons of fun (and young enough to be my children, but I’m sure I’ll forget that); and c) I am addicted to taking pictures so this will appease my craving for another day or two. Except I’ll be worried the whole time that my pictures aren’t Gailworthy, but she always manages to find a few out of the thousands I take that will work.

5. Sookie and I have been walking first thing in the morning and I’m really enjoying it. Yesterday my alarm didn’t go off so I didn’t have time for our walk and it left me feeling pretty blah and muddle headed. It doesn’t even have to be a long walk. One time around the neighborhood is only a half a mile, but that’s enough to get my blood pumping and give me some energy. Of course, we’ve had beautiful crisp mornings this week so we’ll see what happens tomorrow morning when it’s raining. Just how dedicated am I? And is blah and muddle headed really so bad??

Happy Monday!

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So the preschool staff starts up at church today. I’m excited. They’re a great bunch of women – funny, smart, really nice (because you have to be nice to be a preschool teacher or assistant which is why I work in the office upstairs). We also have a new Director and she’s been awesome to work with. I was sad when Leanne, the previous Director resigned so she could go back to her real love – teaching – but I knew it was the right thing for her and her family. The new Director, Shannon, is great, too. So while I miss Leanne in the cubicle, I now have Shannon in the cubicle. Poor Shannon.

Katie started her year as a sophomore today. A sophomore. That would be 10th grade. That means she only has three years of school left. This is my baby. How is it I’m old enough to have a kid in college and my baby in the 10th grade? I must have been comatose for a while because I don’t remember this happening!

Todd had sinus surgery last Friday. His third. The last one was probably 11 years ago or so and thankfully they don’t pack the sinuses anymore. That’s so disgusting! Poor guy, though. It’s swollen all up in there and he so desperately wants to blow his nose, but that would be a huge no-no. He has to breathe through his mouth and in the morning he says, “Yum! Fresh turd!” (because, you know, it tastes like he has poo in his mouth.) I’m happy to report that I’ve been a decent nurse. Not a great nurse. I would never aspire to be totally nurturing because it would just be a set up for failure. But I have been patient with him and waiting on him and actually nice. And I even feel sorry for him. I know! Me – the soulless wench I mentioned in my previous post. I do have it in me to feel compassion. Who knew?

Taylor is still enjoying camp. I keep forgetting to ask him which camp craft he likes the best. (Note to self: ask Tay which camp craft he likes the best.) I’ll be sure to let you know what I find out.

Sookie is still Sookie. A pain in the rear, but a cute pain so we’ll keep her. Lucky for her she has redeeming qualities such as snuggly and funny. Otherwise I’d have to give her the boot.

That’s what’s going on in my part of the world. And now I’m off to make coffee for the preschool ladies. We get to eat and party just a little this week before the kids start next week. This is probably my favorite week of the year.

SO HAPPY MONDAY!

Ye Olde Tale, Part II

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But woe to those who didst sing praises and dance joyfully in the morning, for their joy wast turned to sorrow. Though Jenster, wife of Todd, son of Phillip, was gladdened in her heart as her children departed the conveyance of saffron from whence they came, she wast overcome with despair at the multitude of scrolls those in governance over the learned places deemed she should writ her name upon. Verily, the sorrow didst continue at the command Jenster, wife of Todd, son of Phillip, shouldst make haste to the market place and thereby give a goodly sum to the merchant in exchange for bindings with which to hold the scholarly scrolls and the tools with which to document the knowledge learned by her children. Yea, though she rent her clothing, donned sackcloth and covered her person with ashes, her mourning was turned back to joy for by the next time the sun didst rise much toiling wouldst be finished so she could then enjoy the fruits of her labor.

And so it was.

Ye Olde Tale

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And it came to pass in those days that a decree was sent throughout the land stating all children shouldst return to their scholarly pursuits. And so it was the offspring of the house of Todd, garbed as was appropriate to their station, boarded the conveyance of saffron which wouldst carry them to places of learning. And thus there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth upon the carriage. But lo, the women rejoiced, singing praises to the Lord and joyfully dancing in the streets.

More Nothing

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I have it on good authority that holiday calories don’t count. I thought this meant whatever you eat from Thanksgiving until January 2nd was free. My Weight Watcher’s points tracker hasn’t been filled out because I haven’t been consuming any points at all since the fourth Thursday in November. Or so I thought.

I had to have a semi-physical and TB test for work this morning. You know what that means. I had to be weighed. And while it IS cold outside and I’m wearing winter clothes, I don’t think the nurse bought my standard lie. The one about my clothes weighing about 30 pounds. Though I was wearing tennis shoes and I’m pretty sure they’re close to five pounds. Each.

I refuse to divulge what the scales said. I will say, however, that I’m firmly a size six. Figuratively speaking. And that was probably a silly size to chose for my illustrations because if I ever do lose the weight I want to I’ll end up being somewhere between a negative two and a negative four.

So now I’m thinking it’s only the specific holiday foods that have no calories. But that’s kind of confusing because let’s say I go to Starbuck’s for a White Chocolate Mocha. That’s available all year around so I would have to count those calories. BUT if I were to order a Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha – a holiday special item – then it would be free. Or what if I were to make sugar cookies in the shape of something other than a holiday figure, maybe a butterfly or a spring-time flower, would that still count as holiday food? You see my bemusement.

Thank goodness the entertainment food rules are clear cut. For example, lunch in tandem with a movie is included in the calorie free items along with the popcorn, candy, etc.

I am drinking a Coca-Cola Cherry Zero right now. That’s gotta count for something.

*****

Taylor has a pulled trapezius. I’m sure you already know this, but if not, a trapezius is NOT a swinging apparatus, but a muscle between the shoulder bone and spine. Anyway, he’s apparently done a good job of it because he’s in quite a bit of pain. Unlike my drama queen daughter, he’s usually pretty tough and it takes a lot to make him complain*.

Now I have a standard rule that says unless you are puking, bleeding profusely or running a fever you WILL go to school. I need to add semi-paralyzed. Poor guy could hardly move last night and ended up sleeping in the big green chair downstairs with a heating pad.

Somewhere in this blog I have established my lack of compassion. More likely it was Todd who pointed it out, but whatever. It’s true. I have never claimed to be good nurse material and today is further proof. I understand the boy can’t move without it feeling like someone is ripping the muscle in his back. Which means I’m having to wait on him. I don’t do waiting on him very well. I’m sure I’ll endure, though. hahaha

I did get a glimpse of my little punkin’ head this morning, though. He had walked into the living room, managed to get the Christmas tree lights on and fell asleep on the couch. Gave me all kinds of warm fuzzies. Maybe I should think about that every time I start to get frustrated.

*I need to clarify here. Taylor complains all the time.

Me: Empty the trash and take it to the curb.

Taylor: *Heavy Sigh*

Me: Clear off the table and load the dishwasher.

Taylor: *Heavy Sigh*

Me: Clean up your room.

Taylor: *Heavy Sigh*

But he doesn’t usually complain about being sick or in pain.

*****

Taylor’s school band concert is tonight, but he can’t lift his trombone let alone move the slide. Since we’re not going to that I’ll be going to the preschool Christmas program. Please pray that I can get up off the floor of the stage in front of all those people without embarrassing myself.

And we’ll be having Jesus Birthday Cake. Nothing says “holidays” more than that so I really hope I get a corner piece!

Can You Hear the Hallelulia Chorus??

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No?? It’s very loud where I’m sitting and the glare from the host of angels singing is nearly blinding.

The kids went back to school today.

Taylor was up and finished in the shower before either Todd or I woke up. I went to wake Katie at 6:30 expecting much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but instead she rose and called me blessed. Well, she didn’t exactly call me blessed, but she didn’t call me anything bad and I figure that’s nearly the same thing.

If I hadn’t lost my chance at Mother of the Year the first week of January I’d have lost it for sure this morning. According to the kids there was nothing for breakfast. We had the wrong cereal, it’s not cold enough for instant oatmeal, nobody wants toast or frozen waffles. If I was a good mom I would have baked a chocolate cake last night so they’d have something decent to eat this morning.

I checked and double checked and triple checked the bus schedules yesterday. Taylor’s bus was listed as being here at 7:14. He was getting ready to leave, Todd asked if he had his house key, he didn’t have it, ran upstairs to get it and I saw the bus. It was 7:07. So Todd had to drive him to school.

Katie called her friend to see what time she was walking up to the bus stop – we learned from Taylor’s mistake in not asking his friends. A few minutes later Shelby and her mom showed up to walk with Katie to the corner. I was still in my jammies and waved to every single mom and half the fathers in the neighborhood as they walked their kids up to the bus stop for the very first day of school. With cameras.

***

I have to fess up. I’m not the best housekeeper in the world. Or in the country, state, city, neighborhood or even this particular house. I’m not horrendous and things are usually fairly clean, but I’m not so good about clutter. I maintain, however, it’s more a lack of appropriate storage apparatuses than an actual reflection of my laziness. Anyone want to argue with me?? Huh??

I avoid my daughter’s room as much as possible because, well, it’s a dangerous place and I’m a coward. I’m obviously going to have to “man-up”. Last night I told her to set out her outfit for today and when I went in to tell her goodnight she had a really cute shirt out with these horrible jeans that she cut off into Bermudas a while ago because of all the holes and stains. After informing her there was no way she was leaving this house in that atrocity she told me she didn’t have any clean clothes.

She just did a load of laundry on Saturday so that didn’t make a lot of sense. Turns out she only washed two outfits – one to go to the movie in Saturday evening and one for yesterday. Oh. And she had no socks. She thought she might have lost them at camp. So I washed an outfit for her last night along with some of my clothes and decided I’d be a nice mom and do her laundry for her today.

Oh. My. Gosh. I found duffel bags and grocery bags and beach bags with dirty clothes in them. I found a huge load of towels – beach towels, bath towels, freakin’ kitchen towels – tucked into a basket in her room. I found scads of socks, cute clothes we haven’t seen in ages, and underwear coming out the wazoo. It’s probably going to take me the entire day to wash all her clothes. Which means I’m going to have to wash Taylor’s clothes as well because I’m just fair that way.

So now you know how I will be spending my kids’ first day of school. But at least I get to do it ALONE!