Parenting At Its Finest

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Jenster

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a MOPS Mentor Mom. I don’t really know for sure why I’m a “mentor” and tell my young moms I suppose it’s possible they could maybe learn something from my mistakes. Such as…

When my children were little I thought this or that would be a great mommy thing to do, but instead it caused them to stutter/burp/hit their head against the wall for no apparent reason/hate glitter – you fill in the blank – so don’t do it to your kids.

You see why I might not be best suited for the position.

But every once in a very long while I do have great words of parenting wisdom. A wisdom so profound it garners such looks of awe and appreciation that for a moment I’m embarrassed. Embarrassed that my genius has burned so bright. It’s hard to be humble when you’re a beacon of such enlightenment. But, you know, when you’re that brilliant it just is what it is.

This morning was one of those days. You know what I’m talking about. The kind of day when you’re on fire and everything that comes out of your mouth sounds like something you’d read in an inspirational book or see on Oprah.

Yesterday two of my friends with young children were discussing how they feel bad that they don’t play games for hours with their children like other moms. So this morning I offered them this priceless wisdom:

Don’t worry about it. As they begin to get a little older just start feeding them false memories about how you spent hours upon hours playing their favorite games when they were little. Eventually they will start to believe you and actually think they remember. Bam. You’re the best mother ever.

I KNOW! Brilliant, right?? Sometimes I amaze even myself.

New Beginnings

Posted on August 11, 2008 by Jenster

If someone were to ask me what my favorite day is I would normally answer “Saturday”. I do love Saturday. Somewhere in my archives I mentioned I love Saturday so much I would marry it if it would have me and I weren’t already married. But right now I think Monday is my favorite day. A fresh start to the week. A chance to do better than last week.

If you’re depraved enough you could probably go through my blog and figure out how many times I’ve started Weight Watchers in the last two years. If you’re my friend, please don’t waste your time. Just trust me when I say it’s a bunch. But I’m starting again today.

Last Thursday I wrote this post and I’m pleased to report that I’ve been more disciplined in my study and time with God. I’m already reaping the benefits. Look at the verse that jumped off the page of my Bible and fairly smacked me upside my head.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:3

It’s nothing new or revolutionary. In fact it’s something that I know as sure as I know my name. But for some reason it was a total “Ah Ha” moment when I read it this morning. I wrote it on a note card so I can refer to it at any given second. Like when I want to eat M&Ms instead of something with fewer points. Or when I want to read instead of cleaning the kitchen. Or when I want to watch TV instead of taking the dog for a walk. Or when I want to surf the net instead of writing.

I have the feeling I’m going to be referring to this note card several times an hour.

Haphazard Thoughts

Posted on March 22, 2008 by Jenster

I have weighty issues to discuss. Deep and meaningful subjects. Is there anything more significant in the life of a Christian than the celebration of Easter? And yet… this post is neither weighty, nor deep and meaningful.

This is who I think of every time I look in the mirror. If you only ever heed one piece of wisdom from this blog, may it be this. Do NOT wax your lip after you’ve blown your nose countless times the previous several days and already have a bit of a raw spot. Because if you do you just may rip the delicate skin off and end up looking like you have a port wine stain under your nose. And make up only does so much.

This past week was our Spring Break so Thursday night three 13-year-old girls spent the night with Katie. Half our basement is finished and that’s where they hung out and slept. Sometime around midnight I heard giggling so I got up to tell the girls to keep it down as Todd had to get up early for work. What I found was Ben and Taylor conspiring against the chickies.

Taylor went downstairs and told the girls he had to put his backpack away in the unfinished side. While he was over there he unlocked the Bilco doors and then went back upstairs. He then went outside, around to the back of the house, through the Bilco doors and put on his Scream costume. Then he ran back outside and started knocking on the basement windows. This freaked the girls out so they ran back upstairs to the main floor. Taylor then went back down into the basement with all the lights off and just stood there. When the girls came back downstairs and turned on the lights he scared the bajeezers out of them. Katie was so mad she whacked him in the stomach with a baton. Meanwhile, Ben and Taylor were cracking up. He told Ben the baton hurt, but it was worth it.

So when Todd left for work Friday morning he banged on both Ben and Taylor’s doors, saying, “This is payback for keeping me up last night!” To which he was told, “It was worth it!!”

Late Friday morning I drove the girls to Shady Maple Smorgasbord and we stuffed ourselves silly. It’s the biggest buffet I have ever seen. I know where we’re taking the in-laws the next time they come to visit. My Father-in-Law LOVES a good buffet. Here’s a picture of the girls in the parking lot: