Anniversary Gifts for the Discriminating Buyer

Whilst looking for an excuse for Todd to buy me jewelry the other night I decided to check out an anniversary gift guide. You know, one of those lists that have a specific gift for each year, both traditional and modern. Our 19th anniversary is in a couple of weeks and there is no traditional gift to celebrate that year. Bronze, however, is the modern gift. I can’t think of any bronze jewelry I want.

Some of the traditional gifts seem a little silly, like the first anniversary is paper. In my mind I picture Todd tearing out a sheet of college ruled and giving it to me. Not so romantic. But I imagine when the list was made nice paper was somewhat of a luxury. Five is wood (like a piece of wood for the fireplace?) and six is iron (makes me think of golfing). Again, probably not exactly the gifts that were meant.

The truly funny gifts are under the modern list.

4th – Electrical Appliances. I’m sorry. A man should never, NEVER give an electrical appliance for an anniversary gift.

24th – Musical Instruments. What if you don’t play a musical instrument?

26th – Original Pictures. Of what?

32nd – Conveyances. Like bikes, buggies, skateboards, scooters?

1st – Clocks
15th – Watches
31st – Timepieces. Is anyone else confused? Does that mean either a clock or watch is okay?

41st – Land.

42nd – Improved Real Estate. Does that mean you build a house on the land you gave her the year before?

Here’s my personal favorite:

44th – Groceries. I’m not kidding!! That’s what it says!!

48th – Optical Goods. I think 47th should be hearing aids or something.

And in honor of 46th – which is an Original Poetry Tribute – I’ve written this little poem:

I gave you a blender when four years we reached.
“I wanted some earrings,” you said through a screech.

Twenty years later you got a kazoo.
You explained in great detail what you wanted to do.

I framed some old photos when we hit twenty-six.
You seemed less than happy with all of those pics.

I bought you a bike ’cause the list said I should.
After thirty-six years I thought that was good.

Five years later some land did I buy.
“With a beautiful view of the lake,” said the guy.

The following year when I went to break ground,
the sinkhole swallowed the bulldozer down.

I brought you some groceries two years ago.
I finally found out just how good you can throw.

I’ll buy you new glasses when we hit forty-eight.
I’m sure you’re going to think that is great!


  1. Terri on May 24, 2007 at 5:27 pm

    Be sure to save this for YOUR 46th Anniversary! Great poem. One comment…. Any gift, even appliances, are better than nothing. And, with my anniversary just after Christmas, you can guess what I usually get – Nothing! lol

  2. Monnik on May 24, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    too funny. love the poem!my husband and i don’t buy anniversary gifts. instead, we take a weekend and go up to door county, wisconsin to stay in a nice b&b, and top the weekend off with a packers game. we’ve been doing it for years, and it’s better than any traditional gift i can think of. even jewelry! though, admittedly, i’m not a jewelry gal.

  3. Jenster on May 24, 2007 at 7:20 pm

    Terri – yeah. You get those combinations gifts. :o(Monnik – I’m not much of a jewelry gal myself. Todd and I used to go away alone for a weekend, too. The last couple of years have made it difficult to do that, but we’ll get back into it. No Packers games for us, though. (Go Rams! or Eagles! – whatever)

  4. CindyS on May 24, 2007 at 8:34 pm

    Your poem is great! Bob and I buy something for the house – we always say we’re spoiled so what could we possibly buy each other. I have discovered over the years that I am very easy to buy for so I am the one lucking out in this kind of gift exchange seeing how I never have a clue what to buy! I find it stressfull!I just went looking for 19th and hey! After 15 are you not supposed to get any gifts except for every five years!? How rude!CindyS

  5. Rowena on May 24, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    LOL, I love the poem, I’m thinking it’s pretty great myself…hehe. You’re so cute!

  6. Jenster on May 24, 2007 at 9:47 pm

    Cindy – I know! What’s up with no gifts from 15 to 20??Rowena – Thank you. I’m sure it will be the next American classic.

  7. Katybug on May 24, 2007 at 10:39 pm

    Gift giving stinks!It’s driving me crazy!It’s not that he’s stupid,or even plain lazy.But I don’t want tongsfor my Christmas gift.Towels and appliances Could cause a big rift.My tastes are quite simple.Don’t give me THAT lookwhen I tell you the one thing I wantIs a book!!Okay, there’s my feeble attempt at poetry. Yes, I really did get tongs & towels for Christmas one year, so no, Terri, something is NOT always better than nothing! 🙂 I have a pretty lengthy wishlist on that my dear husband finally decided to make use of for Mothers Day. I LOVE HIM!!!! Now for confession time: I’ve been promising for years to frame some of his racing jerseys from when he was a kid, and I still haven’t done it yet. I’m going to the frame place this week, however, as our anniversary (16th) is coming up in a couple of weeks. Time for ME to step up to the plate & get him what he’s been asking for!!!

  8. Burg on May 25, 2007 at 12:17 am

    That was the funniest thing I’ve read in a very long time!!

  9. Swishy on May 25, 2007 at 12:44 am

    Holy crap, that is so funny. GROCERIES and OPTICAL goods! HA!

  10. Eileen on May 25, 2007 at 1:25 am

    This poem made my night!!! Too funny. As hubby and I approach our 20th, I need a good guide like this. Your blog is always such a blast of much needed sunshine!

  11. Mailyn on May 25, 2007 at 12:47 pm

    Groceries?!? Not unless he’s planning to cook a fancy five meal course with them. LOL.

  12. Jen on May 25, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    That is too funny!! Who makes this stuff up anyway? Besides you I mean (wink, wink)! Now you can add sonnet writer to your long list of fine attributes! Hugs…

  13. Jenster on May 25, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    Katy – Mebbe you an me aughta look into publishing our poetry together.Burg – :o)Swish – I think they left out toiletries.Eileen – Thanks! Glad I amuse you. lolMailyn – And he better not expect me to clean up after!Jen – So glad you’re back!! I know, this stuff is crazy! I mean the real stuff, not the stuff I write. Though that might be crazy, too. :o)

  14. Frannie Farmer on May 25, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    I love your poem. I love the list. Property cracked me up .. it seems to me that after that many years SOME couples may want separate property (living quaters – lol!) .. but I wouldn’t mind a beach house …

  15. Terri on May 25, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    I give Katy…. sometimes nothing IS better! lol And, I’m with Frannie and the beach house!

  16. Travis Erwin on May 26, 2007 at 3:00 pm

    I’m about five months out from my tenth and I know that I have to do better than normal for this one. Thanks for the reminder to start now instead of my usual day before.

  17. Jodi_Lee on May 28, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    Okay, this post is comic genius that Not even I can compete with. Just know that I am bowing down to your comedic greatness right now. 😛

  18. Judye on May 30, 2007 at 11:01 pm

    Ode to Jenster…girl you are too funny by half!Dont knock the bronze… I have a great pair of tri-tone earrings. JB

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