Whilst looking for an excuse for Todd to buy me jewelry the other night I decided to check out an anniversary gift guide. You know, one of those lists that have a specific gift for each year, both traditional and modern. Our 19th anniversary is in a couple of weeks and there is no traditional gift to celebrate that year. Bronze, however, is the modern gift. I can’t think of any bronze jewelry I want.
Some of the traditional gifts seem a little silly, like the first anniversary is paper. In my mind I picture Todd tearing out a sheet of college ruled and giving it to me. Not so romantic. But I imagine when the list was made nice paper was somewhat of a luxury. Five is wood (like a piece of wood for the fireplace?) and six is iron (makes me think of golfing). Again, probably not exactly the gifts that were meant.
The truly funny gifts are under the modern list.
4th – Electrical Appliances. I’m sorry. A man should never, NEVER give an electrical appliance for an anniversary gift.
24th – Musical Instruments. What if you don’t play a musical instrument?
26th – Original Pictures. Of what?
32nd – Conveyances. Like bikes, buggies, skateboards, scooters?
1st – Clocks
15th – Watches
31st – Timepieces. Is anyone else confused? Does that mean either a clock or watch is okay?
41st – Land.
42nd – Improved Real Estate. Does that mean you build a house on the land you gave her the year before?
Here’s my personal favorite:
44th – Groceries. I’m not kidding!! That’s what it says!!
48th – Optical Goods. I think 47th should be hearing aids or something.
And in honor of 46th – which is an Original Poetry Tribute – I’ve written this little poem:
I gave you a blender when four years we reached.
“I wanted some earrings,” you said through a screech.
Twenty years later you got a kazoo.
You explained in great detail what you wanted to do.
I framed some old photos when we hit twenty-six.
You seemed less than happy with all of those pics.
I bought you a bike ’cause the list said I should.
After thirty-six years I thought that was good.
Five years later some land did I buy.
“With a beautiful view of the lake,” said the guy.
The following year when I went to break ground,
the sinkhole swallowed the bulldozer down.
I brought you some groceries two years ago.
I finally found out just how good you can throw.
I’ll buy you new glasses when we hit forty-eight.
I’m sure you’re going to think that is great!