Catching Up

Okay. I’ve only got a little time to tell you what’s been going on. I’ll start with Wednesday. That was my trip in to Philly to have my tattoos touched up and the hair under my arms zapped into oblivion. The ride into the city was pleasant and uneventful. I’m telling you, give me some good tunes and a minimum of stupid drivers and I am one happy woman.

Ylena did the tattoo touch ups first. I asked her if she ever had any strange requests for smiley faces or Celtic knots or anything and she said no. Which is a good thing because all she knows how to do are circles. But she does that really well. I am a bit surprised at how real things are starting to look. It’s the first time in nearly three years that I think I look “normal”. Oh, I still have funky scars and will for some time, but I look less like a doll and more like a real person. AND there is no more yak belly hair.

Which leads me to the laser hair removal. Ayechiwawa that hurt!! Not the breast part because there’s not really any feeling there. But the underarms! Cripes!! Though not all of it. I would think, “this isn’t so bad” and then ZAP! I could actually hear the hair frying! And oy, the smell! Burning hair has quite the nasty odor. She did the left armpit first and just when I didn’t think I could take anymore she put an ice pack under there and moved to the right side. That side didn’t seem to be as bad and I think it’s because of some strange nerve sensations since having lymph nodes removed from the left a few years ago.

I go back the first week in May for my second session. I may be less than thrilled at the thought of more sizzling pain, but the end results are well worth it. No more shaving or Veeting for me!!

The drive home from Philadelphia wasn’t too bad except I was behind some bonehead who had to be drunk or high or something. Nobody drives that bad. Seriously. He nearly hit the center divider a number of times until he moved into the right lane. Then he kept driving on the shoulder, swerving back into his lane and over compensating by veering into the left lane. I was relieved when he took an exit, but then felt guilty I hadn’t called 911 because he was dangerous.

Thursday was my thyroid biopsy. Radioactive Girl had given me good advice and an idea of what to expect and I was thankful for that. The unknown and speculation is always much worse than reality.

I laid on a table with my head back as far as it would go, the ultrasound technician on the right and the radiologist on the left. She pressed the wand onto my neck while the doctor poked around with his finger to figure out where he wanted to go in. He had me turn my head as far to the right as I could and then he sprayed the area with a freezing agent. So freezing that it kind of burned. Then the real fun began.

I didn’t feel the needle going in, but I could feel it inside, fishing around for the right spot to extract the questionable cells. The ultrasound tech told me not to swallow or talk. Don’t you know after that I had an insane urge to swallow. The doctor took two samples from one nodule and two samples from another nodule. In between samples the tech would say, “Now swallow as much as you can!” Which was funny because it’s really hard to swallow on command and that’s why she was saying it.

The doctor kept saying, “This just doesn’t look like anything to worry about. I really think these are complex cysts.” There was a pathologist in the room as well to make sure he was getting enough cells for the samples, but she couldn’t say yay or nay. I’ll get the final word near the end of next week, but I’m not concerned at all. I’ve had these things for ten years and they’ve hardly changed a bit. Which makes me wonder why I went through the pain and hassle in the first place. But I just figure it’s my little jab to the insurance company. (Hope they don’t read this!)

Afterwards my neck was a little sore and I’m kind of bruised, but nothing terrible. It’s uncomfortable to yawn and, just like the swallowing thing, makes me want to yawn all the time. But it’s over with and I hope to never have this done ever again. I did get that Venti Decaf White Chocolate Mocha with Whip, though!

Now for the really big news! I have succumbed. We’re picking up our new puppy in about an hour. A Norwegian Elkhound mix from a rescue shelter. She’s a very cute and fluffy little thing. I have to admit I’m getting a bit excited. If for no other reason than I’ll have cute pictures and fun stories for my blog. Hopefully fun for me as well as you. Now if we all can only agree on a name.


  1. Becky on March 29, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    You big softie, lol. Don’t you know that the dog will love YOU best, and that you’ll be the one who ends up taking care of it, because it will choose YOU over all the rest? (Ask me how I know this, lol.)

  2. KT on March 29, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Hi Jen, great to hear you made it through the hair thing! Beauty is pain, I used to tell then-2-year-old Emma when I brushed her hair, until John overheard, was shocked, and asked me to knock it off!I am so jealous that you are getting a dog. We have been living vicariously through our neighbors’ dogs for years. Your puppy sounds cute. Are you going to name him Tattoo? or Celtic, Celty for short.Can’t wait to see pictures (of the dog)! Katie

  3. Lynilu on March 29, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    Wow, that post had something for everyone … pain, needles, tatoos, lasers, drunks, mocha and cuddly puppies!! You’re a regular smorgasbord!!!

  4. Travis Erwin on March 29, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    If I walked in for laser hair removal the technician would scream and run out the back door.

  5. His Girl on March 29, 2008 at 3:40 pm

    It occurs to me that blogging helps the medicine go down sometimes! Just knowing you’re going to have some really good material to write about softens the blow somehow! heheheGlad to hear your ‘procedures’ were survivable- and your time on the road.Now, as far as your doggie- I have to confess I vetoed a dog for all these years and I am the one who loves my beagle best of all.and in turn, she adores my husband. hmph.

  6. Sherry ~ Cherie ~ ms. herbes de provence on March 29, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    Jenster the Jokster — you tell your stories with such joie de vivre!!Glad you’re making progress with the tattoos — circles…hmmm…what a “novel” idea for nipples!!! Hee!!!As for the hair removal — glad you did it…you will be happy once it’s all done and one less thing to think about.I’m glad the thyroid biopsy went “well” and it sounds to me like all is going to be well there. Too funny — you’re so right; someone says “don’t swallow” that’s all you want to do; someone says “swallow” and you can’t!!! Life is just like that.Congrats on the baby/puppy!!! You are such a softie…and isn’t that a good thing?!

  7. April on March 30, 2008 at 12:24 am

    Jen, Have you ever considered laser hair removal? It is not painful at all. I started treatments but regret never finishing. Still shaving….:(

  8. Shauna on March 31, 2008 at 2:16 am

    Oh, Jen, I’m so glad your test went well and that having a needle in the neck wasn’t quite the nightmare it sounds. Still….*shudder*. I am praying for good results next week. And I’m glad the tats are turning out and things are looking somewhat normal.

  9. The Daily "B" on March 31, 2008 at 12:36 pm

    Oy! Sounds like a busy week for you! No more hair? Yah!How wonderful that everything is coming together and your starting to look normal again… that sounded weird…So your’re getting a puppy… I am headed to your neew post to check her out.

  10. Gretchen on March 31, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    Boy that biopsy sure sounds like a fun time. It sounds like you really enjoyed yourself–with all the command swallowing and not swallowing and all. I used to do swallowing evals on people, and it is true, after a few swallows, you have to wait for a bit.I’m so glad you tat work is starting to look normal. One more piece of that puzzle’s completion.Sorry about the sore pits. I can hardly think about that w/o wincing. Bravo on the Starbucks drink. It was the very least of what you deserved. xxxooogretchen

  11. Tanya on March 31, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    I’m glad you survived and puppies are great!

  12. radioactive girl on March 31, 2008 at 7:37 pm

    I’m glad it wasn’t so bad. I should have rewarded myself after my biopsy! That is a good idea.I told you the weird feeling was the worst part of it. I knew you would be ok. I can’t wait to hear the results!

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