Down to the Wire

Twenty-four hours from right this very minute I’ll be kicking back in my plane seat, reading my fabulous book, glancing out the window every now and then, winging my way to my dream vacation. Hopefully I will be packed long before then.

Since the trip had to be cancelled last year I find myself experiencing a bit of paranoia. A sneeze becomes the beginnings of the worst flu I’ve ever known; Taylor’s allergies run the risk of turning into full blown pneumonia; Katie’s usual bike ride to Dunkin Donuts is just an accident waiting to happen; Todd’s drive back from Princeton could be the most perilous yet. But that’s not the worst of it.

The other day I was in Barnes and Noble, waiting for Cristie, perusing one of the tables, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a mother pushing her young child in a stroller. They were coming my way and I saw a tragic accident play out on the stage that is my mind.

The young woman was fishing in her purse for something, maybe her keys, and didn’t realize the stroller was careening on a path of doom. With my back to the aisle I was oblivious to the danger until it was upon me. The lug nut (is that what it’s called on a stroller?) on the back wheel of the stroller sliced across my Achilles heel, laying me out on the floor of the book store. Above the child’s cries were my screams of pain and despair as I writhed, bloody and in pain. “This can’t happen to me! I’m going to Hawaii Saturday!”

I came back to reality as the stroller passed safely by.

But wait. There’s more. Part of the reason I am not ready to go is because I cleaned my bathroom yesterday. Not the Wham, Bam, Thank You Mam kind of clean. I did the scrubbing the shower doors with a toothbrush and cleaned out the track. A couple different plots played out here.

Scenario One:

I was overcome with fumes, passed out and cracked my head on the tile floor.

Scenario Two:

I was cleaning the hairy, moldy gunk out of the track, was overcome with grossness, passed out and cracked my head on the tile floor.

Scenario Three:

I was cleaning the door, the sharp edge of which sliced my finger causing me to bleed profusely until I passed out and cracked my head on the tile floor.

Scenario Three almost happened. I did slice my thumb on the shower door and it did bleed without me having to squeeze it – little good that did me. Todd wasn’t here to offer me sympathy which is why I usually squeeze an injury for blood. But I didn’t pass out or crack my head on the floor. And while it bled fairly freely, it wasn’t what I would consider profusely. There was no light-headedness or tunnel vision so it’s all good.

Now if I can just make it to the airport tomorrow without incident.


I must apologize to all my bloggy friends. I haven’t been making the rounds and won’t be getting to it for another couple of weeks. Please forgive a disorganized paranoid.




  1. Em on July 11, 2008 at 11:37 am

    I hope you have a fabulous trip and that you can avoid killer strollers and terrible bathroom accidents.Wear your seatbelt! 🙂

  2. Shauna on July 11, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    I hope you have the most wonderfully, awesome, exciting, thrilling, sun-soaked, beach-lazing, ocean-swimming, sight-seeing, laughter-filled, relaxing vacation EVER! You and your family deserve it! Have a fabulous time and we’ll *see* you when you get back.

  3. Travis Erwin on July 11, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Have a great time. I’m taking a plane trip myself Sunday but only to Vegas.

  4. Katybug on July 11, 2008 at 2:20 pm

    I will miss you online!!! Have a fun time! Hope you make it to Pearl Harbor!

  5. beans on July 11, 2008 at 3:39 pm

    Oh MY-you seriously need a vacation. I will miss you!

  6. Monnik on July 11, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    I thought I was the only one who squeezed wounds to draw sympathy blood! Glad to see I have a kindred owee squeezing soul.HAVE A GREAT VACATION! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

  7. His Girl on July 11, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    soooo hoping that you don’t crack your head before your trip. or ever.also, you and S4J? twins.

  8. Shelli on July 11, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    So sorry – I’m still laughing! 🙂 I think we all have a bit of paranoia at times. Hope you have the time of your lives! You deserve some awesome R&R. Can’t wait to hear all about it!

  9. The Daily "B" on July 11, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    I thought I was the only one that came up with such vivid scenarios! lol. Have fun, I look forward to seeing pictures!

  10. The Daily "B" on July 11, 2008 at 7:35 pm

    Did I say I’d miss you?? I will! Blogville may fall apart while you’re gone. =)

  11. Lynilu on July 11, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    Ohhh, have fun, fun, fun!!!! I’ll miss you, but I hope you’re experiencing the best relaxation ever!!

  12. Lori on July 12, 2008 at 1:55 am

    Have a fabulous trip! Sooo jealous! But you deserve to have this – I know you guys will come back tanned and rested. Enjoy!!

  13. Barrie on July 12, 2008 at 2:11 am

    Have a wonderful trip!

  14. Eileen on July 12, 2008 at 2:59 am

    You and I think so much alike. When things seem to good to be true, I see all kinds of roadblocks. Face it Jen, this trip is going to happen, and you are going to have a wonderful time. You all made the right choice, beaches or looking at castles. You made the right call.Have a great vacation. Take lots of pictures to share.Love.

  15. cubmommy on July 12, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    Have an AWESOME time!!!!RELAX!!!!

  16. pink lady on July 12, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    I thought Scenario #3 could only happen to Deb. That sounds just like her. Did you know that she is accident prone? Hope you have a GREAT vacaton, and I am jealous, because I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii. Take alot of pictures. Enjoy, have fun, no diets, and don’t forget the sun screen.

  17. CindyS on July 13, 2008 at 1:44 am

    Okay, it’s nice to know that once again, my own ‘pre-trip’ jitters aren’t the sign of crazy coming.I squeeze the wound to make sure the Bubonic Plague escapes my body. Yep, I take your paranoia and up it one ;)Have a great time in Hawaii!!!!CindyS

  18. Swishy on July 13, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    Ohhhhh! I hope you have a wonderful, fantastic time!!

  19. SeaSpray on July 14, 2008 at 1:03 am

    You are so funny Jen!!Have a wonderful trip. Everyone I know who has gone to Hawaii always wants to go back.You’ll have to let me know if you see any Hawaii 5O waves..or is that show before your time.Huge, beautiful waves.Have a blast! 🙂

  20. Becky on July 14, 2008 at 1:17 am

    You are going to have SOOOOO MUCH FUN! You sound like me, though, with the paranoid scenarios, lol. I’m sure the ‘worst’ you’ll get is a little bit of sunburn, which will quickly turn to a tan, and we’ll all be crazy jealous.

  21. radioactive girl on July 15, 2008 at 7:54 pm

    Have a wonderful trip!

  22. Cheryl Wray on July 17, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    I hope you have a fantabulous trip!!!!! (I am leaving on a jet plane soon too…next Monday morning…and I am so ready!!)Cleaning the bathroom is my LEAST favorite thing to do!

  23. Gretchen on July 19, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    I’m so thrilled for you. So very thrilled. Can’t wait to hear all about it. xxxooogretchen

  24. Becky on July 27, 2008 at 12:52 am

    Waiting to hear all about your FAB trip!

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