Dreams and a White Russian

Last night I dreamt Will Farrell was dressed up as Elton John at a costume party and when I showed up without a costume I said I was Kiki Dee so I wouldn’t get in trouble. Unfortunately Will Farrell heard me and said I had to come sing “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” with him. I agreed, but kept finding things I had to do first to avoid getting on the stage in front of all the people. Thankfully I woke up before I had to sing.

Why? This dream is more insane than the Oprah dream. Or at least as insane. Zeek – would you like to interpret this one??


I had my regular checkup with the White Russian today. It was nice to go in for something other than a problem. Their computers were down and it had the entire office in turmoil. I usually go straight to an exam room, but today I had to go back to the chemo room. It’s the first time I’ve been to the chemo room at this oncologist’s office and it gave me a moment’s pause.

I don’t know how well I can explain this, but I’ll give it the old college try. It’s been my experience that oncology doctors and technicians and nurses are among the nicest people on the planet. When I was going through chemotherapy I had to go in to the office every week for blood work and received chemo every three weeks. While I wasn’t thrilled to have several gallons of what was comparable to fertilizer pumped through my veins, I did enjoy the people there. They were cheerful and compassionate and a fun group. Today I remembered just how much I enjoyed them and it made me a little melancholy.

But I got over it quick. I was given a great report and don’t have to show up for another three months. My blood counts were all great. Both my rashes and blisters are clearing and I’m starting to feel almost normal again. I think, anyway. I’m not sure. It’s been so long since I’ve felt normal I could be far from it. But whatever. I feel way better than I have for a long time.

Father’s Day was the day we were to leave for Hawaii. Instead we’ll be in the Poconos. Tomorrow we’re taking the trailer up to the mountains for a much needed family get away. Even though I’m feeling much better and my skin seems to be clearing up, I’m glad we postponed Hawaii. I still don’t know how my skin is going to react to suntan lotion, sunshine and bug spray. Guess we’ll find out this weekend.

After the last six months we’ve had we’re all looking forward to this weekend. We need some time away from phones and T.V.s (though we have a small one – lol) and just connect as a family. I’m planning on getting a book or two read, also.

This will probably be my last post until next week. At that time I’ll have glorious pictures to share. Or at least a story or two. And I apologize for not being a very good bloggerfriend. I sort of freak out when things don’t go according to my “schedule” and nothing’s gone according to my schedule these last two weeks. So I’ve been to visit all of you, but I haven’t been leaving comments because I’ve been too frazzled. I’m sure you’ll be sorry when I come back from camping all refreshed and revived and have lots to say to your posts.


  1. SeaSpray on June 14, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    Hi Jenster- I am sorry you have had to go through all of that. The aunt I told you about is doing much better now that she had injections to boost her white blood cells and the transfusion. She is smiling and out walking around the yard and is hungry all the time which must be the medicine.I think it is terrific when medical staff is nice. I know I was always good with the patients and loved being with them and as a patient i find myself feeling attached to the nice people in various offices or at the hospital. They see so many people but we see just them and they are there with us going thru these things with us and they make things more bearable. I am grateful for the caring med professionals!Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Now your coming up in MY direction! 🙂

  2. JenniferTX on June 14, 2007 at 9:23 pm

    Glad to hear your doctor’s visit went well and that the other issues seem to be getting better — I’ll say a prayer or two that they continue in that direction in spite of bug spray, sun block, etc. :)And I hope y’all have a BLAST on your trip, Jen!! It sounds really nice and I wish I could tag along even though I’d miss my family very much . . . but I could also use some Quiet Time. *grin* Can’t wait to hear all about it when you get back.Hugs,Jennifer

  3. Jenster on June 14, 2007 at 9:54 pm

    Seaspray – I’m glad your aunt is doing better. I had to get injections to boost my white blood cells every single time I had chemo, too. I was so thankful to have that available to me!Since we’re coming your direction you should come on down! lolJennifer – Thanks for the prayers and well wishes. And I wish you could come, too. :o)

  4. Swishy on June 15, 2007 at 12:43 am

    So glad you had a good visit to the doctor! And yeah, normal is relative, but any kind of normal is good! I hope you have a great weekend. You so deserve it!

  5. Mailyn on June 15, 2007 at 1:48 am

    And here I was thinking that you were talking about a drink. LOL.

  6. CindyS on June 15, 2007 at 3:23 am

    I’m so glad you got a clean bill! I’m not a camper but hey, have a ton of fun with your family!CindyS

  7. Zeek on June 15, 2007 at 7:24 am

    If you had to describe Will F., Elton and Kiki to someone who has never heard of them and knows nothing about them how would you describe each of them?

  8. Zeek on June 15, 2007 at 7:57 am

    Okay, here’s my interpretation without knowint some of the the questions above-My guess is from this is that many times you feel you have to be different people when facing the “public”. There is a funny part of you but it seems that part even feels like it has to “put on an even bigger show” to entertain people. (Elton John being the ultimate in “put on a show” entertainer to me.) The thing is, when you really show up- when it’s truly who you are- the entertainer in you makes you feel like it’s not good enough and wants you to prove yourself. You agree with this part, perhaps you feel you do need to prove that you are talented and entertaining- just as you are- but some part of you is afraid of failure and wants to put it off for as long as you can._____________To me this is much like the last one. You feel you have something to give to the public, but some part of you feels inadequate. (As an observer I’m gonna say, YOU ARE more than adequate! Find a way to fight those fears because you KNOW you have something to give- you don’t have to be entertaining in a way you think people want to see, you just have to be you! MMMWAH! Oh and if there is someone in your life that you would describe exactly like you would Will F., there very well may be an actual who is making you feel like that too. In other words, he’s representing them …)

  9. Zeek on June 15, 2007 at 7:58 am

    Actual person that is …

  10. Jenster on June 15, 2007 at 8:40 am

    Swishy – Thanks on all counts!Mailyn – If you saw the way I say “White Russian” you’d know I’m thinking of the drink. lolCindy – Yeah, camping’s not for everyone. lolZeek – My first impression of the three people is:WF – tall and goofyEJ – Flamboyant, bright, larger than lifeKD – I have no idea. I just know she sang that song with EJ.Again I would say this has to do with writing my book, then. So much that happened was actually funny that I believe I think I have to make the whole book humerous. But there were horrible parts, crying parts, sad parts, etc., that I think need to be a part of the book, too. I have several people encouraging me to write this book, but what if they don’t want to read the bad stuff. Which is silly because it’s MY story and I know these particular people want to read ALL of it. Not just the funny stuff. As far as being in person, I am who I am. Although… sometimes I feel like I have to be happy all the time because I’m just a naturally happy person. But sometimes I’m sad and I still feel like I have to act happy.I have no idea who Will Farrell would represent. Maybe the humerous side of the story??? Not an actual person, but that’s all I got! LOLThanks, Zeek! I knew you would help me work this out. :o)Did you stay warm yesterday?? It was chilly!!

  11. Zeek on June 15, 2007 at 9:19 am

    It’s cool again this morning! yeesh! HeyI think Will is a part of yourself. We ALL have different aspects of ourself that takes the forefront at times. But I think this dream is telling you don’t have to put anything on when approaching the writing (I know you know this, but sometimes we don’t realize we’re falling into that. But isn’t it funny how our heart knows, ya know? (hee!) Just write the book how it comes. Don’t try and make it something it isn’t. (And hey, if something needs to change- that’s what edits and revisions are for!) People need to hear your story Girlfriend!”Although… sometimes I feel like I have to be happy all the time because I’m just a naturally happy person. But sometimes I’m sad and I still feel like I have to act happy.”Totally feel you here- I’m like that too!

  12. Zeek on June 15, 2007 at 9:22 am

    Oh btw, BF and I hit sonic again the other weekend. I’m not real impressed with this one as both times I’ve hit it- my burgers were cold. But. I do love the sides that you can’t get anywhere else- and bf loves the shakes!

  13. Rosie on June 15, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    Jen,have a great trip!

  14. Lori on June 15, 2007 at 4:38 pm

    So glad everything went well at the Dr! Have a wonderful relaxing trip!

  15. Katybug on June 15, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Jenster, I will miss you next week. Enjoy your time off. I look forward to hearing about your trip. 🙂 See you soon!

  16. radioactive girl on June 15, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    Have a great trip! You definitely deserve some fun and a break!

  17. April on June 15, 2007 at 7:36 pm

    So happy for your report. Have a great camping trip!BTW, don’t hate me but I’ve tagged you with an (optional) meme on my blog.

  18. Monnik on June 17, 2007 at 9:17 am

    oh, I love the dream. That’s crazy funny!I hope you’re having a great weekend in the mountains. And I’m glad you’re feeling better – you have been through so much! What an example you are to your kids to go through all of this with a great attitude.Can’t wait to hear about your weekend!

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