To say I’m not a morning person is an understatement. I hate getting out of my snuggly bed when the alarm goes off and I don’t like to talk before I’ve had that first jolt of caffeine.
But because I’m
the best mom ever not the worst mom in the world I do get up early and drive Katie and her friends the half a block to the bus stop so they can sit in the warm car until the bus arrives. Lucky for Taylor he’s a boy and does the whole “Negative 20 isn’t that cold unless you’re a wuss” with the other ridiculous high school boys while the fog from their breath crystallizes before their eyes and shatters to the ground, because I’m not usually ready to get out when he leaves.
So where was I? Oh yeah. Katie and her friends. That means three to five teenage girls in my car. Oh.my.gosh. Was I like that?? (That’s a rhetorical question and does not require an answer.) I’m afraid one morning I won’t be able to see well enough to drive the 50 yards home because my eyes will be permanently crossed.
Usually I make my coffee early enough so I can take a cup with me and then it doesn’t seem so bad. A steaming cuppa joe and all is right with the world. This morning, however, it didn’t happen. I managed a shower before the bus stop, but didn’t get the coffee on in time.
But honestly, it wouldn’t matter if Katie was the only girl. She’s a bright thing, but sometimes she doesn’t use her head. Like when I practically shove her out of the way so I can get to the coffee maker and she starts her incessant talking. About what, I have no idea. My mind can’t keep up with her that early. She could be Charlie Brown’s teacher for all I know. Wah wah wah wah. You can read a sampling of a typical Katie commentary at Make Her Stop, Please.
If I thought anyone would obey it I would make a rule stating there is to be no talking until mom has consumed at least a half a cup of coffee. Instead this morning I was challenged with this hypothetical question as I was throwing “rich, aromatic” grounds into the maker. “If there was only one cup of coffee left in the world how far would you go to get it?”
Huh?? What kind of horrible question is that? Are you trying to throw me into a panic? Do you want to see me completely wig out?? Not only was she talking to me, she was trying to make me think. Not only was she trying to make me think, she was striking at my Achilles’ heel. And enjoying my very obvious discomfort.
So I got the coffee started and it was time to leave. No liquid fortification to deal with the squealing teenage females. Even so, they’re very funny and sometimes I forget I’m a middle-aged mom because I end up being silly with them.
Supposably we’re getting another “winter precipitation event” after midnight tonight and maybe, just maybe school will be delayed tomorrow. That way I’ll have plenty of time to make AND consume mass quantities of coffee before I have to deal with anyone!! A girl can hope.