Todd and I didn’t exchange gifts for Christmas this year. Instead we purchased a GPS. Apparently, he is not amused by my frequent and unintended use of alternate routes.
I have to be honest – I wasn’t thrilled about this idea for two reasons:
1) I had a great Christmas list. I took the time to figure out what I wanted, where to get it and how much each item cost. It was a concise, organized and informative list. Just the sort of list a Type A personality such as Todd would like. Most important to note is that this list included jewelry;
2) I felt a GPS system would diminish my value. I know it’s irrational, but hear me out. It’s already been established in a previous post that I’m kind of good at a lot of things, but not really good at much of anything. Except directions. My sisters and I have always been good with directions. It’s one of the few things that I’m very good at. We may take a wrong turn here or there, but I can get us anywhere.
What my family doesn’t seem to understand is that just because someone is very good at directions doesn’t mean they won’t miss a turn. Especially when: a) the actual streets don’t quite match up to the map; b) they can’t see the street sign until they’re right up on it; or c) there isn’t a street sign. So when we drive past the road we were supposed to turn on I get all the flack. “Are we in New Jersey?” “What now, Misdirection?”
I will admit to perpetuating the jokes, but I’m tired of them now – especially in light of my competition – the GPS.
I never actually said okay until he called me from work and said he was getting ready to purchase it online. Then it was kind of like, “whatever.” He, being a man, took my silence on the matter to mean assent. Me, being a woman, took my silence on the matter to mean I really want the pearl earrings but I’m not going to say that because it sounds selfish and how can you, after all these years, not know this!?
I don’t have much of a temper, but this made me mad. Partly at myself for not saying anything before the purchase was made. Again, I didn’t want to sound like a petulant child, though I had no problem acting like one AFTER the purchase.
Her name is Jill. Todd thinks she’s wonderful. My thoughts are decidedly different. Todd likes her sultry voice. I find her voice grating. Todd wants to take her everywhere. I want her to stay hidden in the back of the shelf in the closet.
She’s not always right, either. Sometimes she takes us some ridiculous way that makes absolutely no sense. Todd doesn’t seem to think anything of that. After all, we always get to where we’re going.
I admit to taking us ridiculous ways sometimes, as well. But we still always got to where we were going. Do I hear any praise from Todd for getting us there? No. Just criticisms for the wrong turns here or there. He’s much nicer to Jill.
For the most part I’ve gotten over my hatred of Jill and even suggested he take her last week for our visit to a new doctor. I knew how to get to the town well enough, but I wasn’t sure exactly where the office was. And I will admit, Jill was very convenient for that.
However, I still have my moments. Like the time Jill was telling him to go one way and I was telling him to go another way. I kept telling her to shut up and I think I probably called her a bad name. Finally Todd said to Jill, very nicely, “I’m sorry Jill. I know you’re just trying to help, but I can only listen to one wench at a time and I have to sleep with her,” or something like that. Pfffft! At that very moment I got a picture of Todd, in the guest bed, with Jill on the pillow next to him.
What thoroughly irritates me the most, I think, is when he uses Jill to get home from, say, the mall. How many months upon months have we gotten home from the mall without her help? Why does he need her now? I think he just likes to listen to the harpy.
I do hope that Jill and I will be able to come to an understanding because I can see how she would be useful for certain road trips. Still, she is the “other woman.” I think pearl earrings would go a long way towards assuaging my hurt feelings.