Highlands versus Paradise

Before I get to the point of this particular post (Yes! I have a point!) I’ve a few hockey matters to settle:

1. Pucks are regularly frozen for NHL games, and I assume for other hockey events as well. Freezing a puck makes it bounce less, since the rubber is more rigid. It also allows it to glide further since if it’s warmer than the ice it will melt the ice, and cause more friction. That would be a direct quote from my very own hockey expert.

2. As for the names, here’s what I was thinking:

PicardStar Trek (Captain Picard) That was an easy one.

BoucherThe Waterboy (Adam Sandler played Bobby Boucher.) We call Taylor Bobby Boucher for two reasons. One – Katie used to call him Bobby when he was little. And two – Taylor “loves his mama very much”. And if that makes no sense to you then obviously you’ve never seen The Waterboy.

Peltier & Gauthier – Characters from the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon. The Peltiers are a bear family of Were-Hunters and Nick Gautier was a squire for one of the Dark Hunters.

3. Todd is watching Hockey as I type this and they said, “Get the puck out.” HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That’s as funny as “two minutes for hooking”!

Okay. Moving on.

If you’ve been hanging around this blog for any length of time then you know we were going to take a family vacation to Hawaii this past summer. When Todd was living up here and the kids and I were still in Arkansas, his company put him up in a Homewood Suites for a week or two over a year and they flew him home quite often. Every other weekend to start with and then three weekends in Arkansas and one weekend in Pennsylvania. Needless to say, we racked up the Hilton points and the Delta Skymiles.

We had reservations for twelve days at a beautiful resort on Waikiki and four first class round trip tickets. But my body rebelled in the form of rashes, blisters, and horrible female problems which resulted in a complete hysterectomy in July. So we cancelled all our reservations with the intent to remake them for next summer.

Somewhere along the line, however, I got the bright idea that we could travel to Scotland just as easily. I asked the kids if they had the choice between Hawaii and Scotland where would they want to go. Surprisingly they decided Scotland would be fun.

So I ordered a few Scotland travel guides, emailed with people who have been there and started planning our trip. My goal was to have all the reservations made by the end of this week. The more I read the books and made my plans the more excited I got.

Before I started making reservations, however, I needed the kids to understand something. A trip to Hawaii would be relaxing. I mean, that’s what you do in Paradise, isn’t it? A trip to Scotland, however, would not necessarily be restful. If I’m going there I’m going to see as many castles and lochs and quaint villages as I can possibly pack in. And if we were to go on this dream vacation to the UK and they started whining about having to go on this tour or this ride or whatever, I would be VERY NOT HAPPY!

They have changed their minds again and we’re back to Hawaii. Todd asked me last night if I was disappointed. Disappointed? Hello!! It’s HAWAII!! Not in the least am I disappointed. Besides, if we went to Scotland with the kids Todd and I wouldn’t be able to have sex in a castle. I’m just saying.

The downside of a trip to Hawaii is that I’ll have to shave more and, while I am trying to get into shape anyway, I have the added pressure of knowing I’ll be wearing a good deal less than I would in the Highlands. I think draping a plaid around a body is much more forgiving than sun dresses and bathing suits.

Todd and I will just go back to our original plans. A trip to Scotland for our 25th anniversary – five years after our trip to Hawaii. With no whiney kids.


  1. Swishy on November 27, 2007 at 9:05 pm

    That sounds like a perfect plan! Do you have room in your suitcase? 🙂

  2. Swishy on November 27, 2007 at 9:05 pm

    That sounds like a perfect plan! Do you have room in your suitcase? 🙂

  3. His Girl on November 27, 2007 at 9:29 pm

    I love your wise warning to your teens about your expectations! What a bunch of heartache you saved…Glad to find your blog, too! I’m really enjoying your style.

  4. Eileen on November 27, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    Great idea to talk to the kids before you booked the trip. It would not be fun to get there and have them disappointed. I think you couldn’t loose on either trip! You are going to have so much fun together. You and your family deserve this trip. You should start a count down or something!! XOXOX

  5. Barb on November 27, 2007 at 11:11 pm

    Somehow reading this post was a lot like being in a popcorn popper….. :oD

  6. Rosie on November 27, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    Sure great plan. Then when your 25th rolls around they will decide that Scotland will be just peachy. Never fails. You’ll have fun in Hawaii. I’ve found myself treasuring the times we are all together. They grow up fast and making memories is what it’s all about.

  7. Dev on November 27, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    Color me jealous! Have fun booking your trip 🙂

  8. Heather on November 27, 2007 at 11:32 pm

    The sex in a castle thing cracked me up girl. I’m for Hawaii OR Scotland too. Anywhere, without our whiney kiddo’s, right!

  9. Heather on November 27, 2007 at 11:32 pm

    sex on the beach, sex in a castle….go for it girl! wink

  10. Becky on November 28, 2007 at 12:57 am

    Oy, I’ve got to remember not to be drinking anything while reading your blog, because a.) I’ll choke on it, or b.) I’ll spew it across the computer screen…especially when reading the “sex in the castle” and “wearing a good deal less than I would in the highlands” comments, ROFL!!! Sure you still could…”Hey, you kids go on down there by the loch…dad and I are gonna go up to the top of this here castle and take pictures. Of you. Down there. By the loch…” lol.

  11. CindyS on November 28, 2007 at 2:01 am

    I’m a sun and fun kind of girl anyways. I would like to visit Europe (going by boat and hoping Titanic dreams don’t assault me) but I would want lots and lots of time and I don’t *do* tours. I like to roam at my own pace and well, it’d be all about the food ;)Cindys

  12. Sherry on November 28, 2007 at 9:30 am

    just remember Jen…guys don’t wear anything under their kilts…that would have been an added bonus to Scotland..something to look forward to in 5 more years…a trip to paradise? bliss….

  13. Can’t believe you put “sex in a castle” in your blog….with all the crud I get from you when you do something DEFINATELY blog-worthy and will not put it in here. In addition, you keep telling me that you have a “image” to uphold and that your mom and other relatives read your blog….I do not want Del hunting me down because of a “sex in the castle” comment, you know how he scared me when we were dating!!!!

  14. Monnik on November 28, 2007 at 9:57 am

    The Hawaii trip will be more restful, that’s true. But Scotland. Wow. I am so jealous.I think you’ll enjoy it more without the kids, though, especially with your sex in a castle goal. Will you be pretending that Todd is Jamie Fraser from Diana Gabaldon’s books? Make him wear a kilt with nothing under it!!!

  15. Jenster on November 28, 2007 at 10:16 am

    You people are cracking me up!!!Swishy – Sure!! You’re small.His Girl – I try to avoid heartache as much as possible. lolEileen – They really wanted to go to Scotland, but I don’t think they really thought about what it would be like for us. And I did have a countdown last year. Once I get the reservations I’ll do another one. :o)Barb – Living my life is a lot like being in a popcorn popper. LOL!!!Rosie – They won’t be going with us for our 25th anniversary. :o)As for treasuring our time together, I do, too. I nearly panic sometimes when I think of how fast the time is going by and I love, love, love our time as a family.Dev – Thanks!! Half the fun is the planning, I think. I would love to be a travel agent!Heather – one problem. I’m not big into public displays of affection. lolBecky – I hope your computer is okay. And Todd and I have made it our mission to disgust our kids as much as possible so they’d know what we were up to. :o(Cindy – I’d love to have a ton of time, too. And I wouldn’t mind doing my own tours. I’m all about the food, too. Except for haggis.Sherry – Don’t think the kilt thing didn’t make it onto my list of “pros” for Scotland!! lolTodd – You’re so silly! We’ve been married nearly 20 years and have two children. I think Uncle Del has figured out by now you’ve compromised me.Monnik – Of course!! Todd and I both are Outlander fans. In fact, Todd uses a Jamie line about me quite frequently. “She’s a fair face and a fine, fat arse.”Yeah. If that’s not love…

  16. Lynilu on November 28, 2007 at 11:02 am

    Vacation is vacation is vacation, right? I mean unless you’re going somewhere that you hate. I’d be happy going either place, too. Just getting away is soooooo nice. Trust me, I know these things!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  17. Tanya on November 28, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    sex in a castle. Sounds like lots of fun. Isn’t it a fact that Christian people have the best sex? I told my husband about that one. We have some Europe plans on the horizon, but we’re going to go pre-children.

  18. Travis Erwin on November 28, 2007 at 5:07 pm

    Buy a tartan bikini and have the best of both worlds.

  19. KT on November 28, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Hi Jen, good choice to do the Scotland trip w/o kids. It is definitely a grown-up vacation. My husband and I honeymooned there (12 years ago in August) and we loved every minute. We stayed in a different town almost every night, drove the whole perimeter of the country. It was beautiful. Good golfing too, and no carts so you get your exercise.I’ve never been to Hawaii. Maybe one of these days!Can’t wait to hear more about your vacation! Katie

  20. Anonymous on November 28, 2007 at 10:01 pm

    Yay to Hawaii!I’m a whole lotta selfish so this wonderful news on my Birthday is a Fabulous present to me. Jen & Family coming to Hawaii! Woo Whoo!Now don’t you go changing your mind again(thanks kiddies I love ya)…. or else I’m coming to get ya sooner then expected!-LOLAloha~ CigiYep~ Jen has friends all over the world.

  21. beans on November 28, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    I have to agree with Becky-I quite enjoy this blog and often find myself bursting out laughing. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!!! I think some days it is better than Seinfeld!!Oh, and just in case you haven’t found the underwear song, here’s a link for you. For some reason there are TONS of people that have put this song to various animations. This is one video I found . . .the song is from Avenue Q, but the video is a montage from House. Enjoy.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wcaY7q0EJ4

  22. susan on November 29, 2007 at 10:59 am

    So…I’m guessing you won’t be having sex on the beach either? This way seems like it actually works out better, you now get two really great vacations!

  23. Cheryl Wray on November 29, 2007 at 11:12 am

    Wow…what a quandary!!! Hawaii or Scotland??? i would take either one and be thrilled!!! LOL Seriously…I think your decision is a great one!!! Kids do better on laid-back vacations usually; ad you and dh will have a great anniversary trip in a few years!

  24. Jenster on November 29, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    Lynilu – I agree. Just getting away is nice. I’m game to go just about anywhere!Tanya – Have a great time! It’s a little late for us to go pre-children. lolTravis – Tartan I can do. Bikini – not so much.KT – So I guess I need to take up golf, eh? lol It almost seems like it would be wrong to go to Scotland and not play a round.Cigi – LOL!! You don’t have any kids graduating from college on the mainland next summer, right??Beans – I’m always thinking of Seinfeld because I have a blog about nothing! LOLAs for the Underwear song – that was funny!! I never miss House and that one was just on a week or so ago.Susan – Not unless it’s served in a glass with a little umbrella. :o)Cheryl – I know! What to do? What to do??

  25. Lisa on December 2, 2007 at 10:09 am

    I’d be all about the Highland fling myself! TeeHee

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