I Picked The Wrong Day To Stop Drinking

There is very little caffeine in the house right now save an outdated can of International Foods Sugar Free French Vanilla Cappuccino. I was even at the grocery store yesterday and completely forgot to pick up some coffee. So this morning, instead of making up some of the frothy, guilt-free, goodness, I went without any caffeine.

Preschool this morning was a bit more challenging than usual. During one episode where I wasn’t quite fast enough to keep beanbags and a few kitchen toys from being thrown over the baby gate into the hall I told Beth, “I picked a bad day to stop drinking caffeine.”

Probably a better example of my slow reflexes and cognitive skills would have been before school started. Another teacher, Joy, had been in our room writing down the names of all the teachers and assistants so we could each draw one for our Christmas party. Then she said, “You’ll have to draw today since you don’t work tomorrow.” I gave her a blank stare and said, “But I can’t draw.” Oy!!

After school I decided to run over to our very new Philadelphia Premium Outlets. They opened a few weeks ago, but I’ve been waiting for the novelty to die down a little before braving the crowds. The parking lot seemed pretty full, but the stores themselves weren’t too bad.

I made a bee line for Starbuck’s and ordered a venti non-fat White Chocolate Mocha. The lady making the drinks asked if I wanted whip and when I said, “no,” she started laughing. I think I sounded very sad. Not as sad as I would have sounded had I known how many points a venti non-fat White Chocolate Mocha, no whip is. Ten!

I did some window shopping while chugging my medicine mocha since I wasn’t allowed in the stores with a drink. Then I headed off to find some nice shoes. Todd’s company is having a thing at the Philadelphia Art Museum tomorrow night for the Renoir exhibit. I went to the mall yesterday and bought some nice slacks, a few nice tops and a new coat – all at incredible prices – but no shoes. I should probably feel guilty that though it’s Christmas shopping season, I’ve been shopping two days in a row and haven’t bought anything for anyone other than me. Hold on a minute. Let me see… Nope. No guilt whatsoever.

Okay. Back to the shoes. What I wanted was a pair of black, casual dressy heals and I found them at Naturalizer. Didn’t Naturalizer used to be strictly boring orthopedic shoes?? These shoes are not your grandma’s shoes and quite versatile. I can wear them with nice slacks. I can wear them with jeans. I can wear them with… I guess that’s it. Since the outlet stores are brand new they had everything on sale. I got these for 50% off. Even the beginnings of a migraine due to the late hour of caffeine administration couldn’t dim the joy I felt.

After that I went in search of a decent pair of jeans that actually fit me. I have the hardest time because I seem to be in between sizes. If I were to put on a size six, let’s say for discussion purposes, it would fit in the thigh and hip area, but be too big in the waist. The size four, however, while fitting perfectly in the waist, would be to small in the hip/thigh region. So I went to a shop that specializes in clothes for my frame – could be a petite store, could be a plus-size store, could be a store that caters to brunettes. I’m not saying.

Before I go on, I have to tell you another one of my less than brilliant moments. I have no idea where it was coming from, but the area around this part of the mall smelled like a huge pile of markers. I LOVE that smell. So I stopped walking, covertly looked around and took a huge sniff when I didn’t see anybody. While I enjoy that odor immensely, it’s probably not the smartest thing to do when a migraine is trying to grip you.

Anyway, I found the jeans I wanted, took a four and a six into the dressing room, and chanted “please fit, please fit, please fit,” while trying on the four, but no such luck. So I shucked them off and tried on the six. Oh my gosh! I couldn’t even be upset that it was the six and not the four because they fit PERFECT! When I got up to the register the cashier told me they were buy one, get one for half price. So I grabbed another pair of the exact same jeans.

There were other stores I wanted to check out, but by this time my pupils were dilated and I had that ice pick in the head/I just want to puke feeling. So I came home, took some Excedrin Migraine, sprawled out in my favorite chair and dozed off. All seems to be right in the world again. Good thing, too, because we’re shooting a movie for Katie’s Social Studies class in a little while.

Every time I have surgery – and we’ve established that’s quite often – I use that as a sort of detox period. I use the narcotics to ease me off of caffeine. It works like a charm. Apparently it’s time for another surgery because I’m obviously addicted again. Why do I do this to myself?? I enjoy a glass of wine or a bottle of beer now and again, but I can go days, weeks, months without alcohol and never miss it. I’ve never become addicted to the aforementioned narcotics, though I will admit to liking them when they’re needed! But I usually switch to Tylenol long before I have to. Heck, I can even go without sniffing markers and glue for years and be perfectly happy. But caffeine? I wish!