I Think I Figured It Out

I’ve wondered for a while why I love the picture I posted yesterday. Technically I should be mortified by it. I’m bald for one thing – and not by choice. I’ve established I have no make up on. I’m wearing some silly, but extremely comfortable pants I made eons ago. I’m just not looking my best. Sounds like the kind of photo that should make me cringe with utter humiliation every time I see it.

I finally realized it stirs an emotion in me that very few pictures do. This was taken almost two months after Todd had moved to Pennsylvania and he was coming home to Arkansas every other weekend at that time. Obviously, I was going through chemo and those two weeks between his visits were so hard. I tend to push unpleasantness to the back so I don’t have to deal with it, but it’s always there, unconsciously winding me up. It was almost like I was holding my breath for the whole two weeks.

But when he got home I could exhale. My happiness was completely genuine instead of being marred by my sadness. And cuddling with him on the couch was pure, sweet joy. So much so that Taylor could even feel it, which is why he took the picture. In his words, “You guys look so cute.” LOL

I suppose, also, it reminds me of where we were and where we are now, which is so much better.

Thank you for your sweet comments instead of, “Oh my gosh! You look like a freak!” :o)


  1. Dance Chica on March 8, 2007 at 12:32 pm

    I love the photo you posted! It’s very beautiful, for all the reasons you posted. And I really do mean it when I say that the first time I saw the picture, my immediate thought was, “Awww.” There’s absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m glad you shared it with us. 🙂

  2. Katybug on March 8, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    LOL!!! Jenster, you are such a hoot! Freak is not the word I was thinking when I saw your picture. Even bald with no makeup on, you are quite lovely. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It truly is a precious–and beautiful–picture in so many ways, especially now that I know the story behind it.

  3. Tara Marie on March 8, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    You “label”ed it correctly, it’s all about the Love 🙂 You both shine with it.

  4. Bookwormom on March 8, 2007 at 4:07 pm

    I like it too & I’m glad you have a snapshot to remember the good times. Thanks for sharing it!

  5. JenniferTX on March 8, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Oh wow, Jen! I just saw the picture and it’s wonderful!! And no, the word ‘freak’ never popped into my head at all. Honest. It’s a sweet, honest picture of LOVE, no matter what either of you looked like or felt like at the time it was taken. Seriously, I have a feeling that I’m never going to forget that picture and it will always be the definition of love to me. Hugs,Jennifer

  6. Dorky Dad on March 9, 2007 at 12:40 am

    Of course you don’t look like a freak in that picture. You look like someone who is perfectly content at that moment, despite the obvious challenge you were facing at the time. It’s a great picture.And thanks for visiting my blog!

  7. Dylan on March 9, 2007 at 2:03 am

    Awww sweetie, you are truly blessed to have someone like Tood in your live to love and who loves you in return.Blessed you are sweetie and I’m so happy for you! =) And you are NOT a freak nor would you ever look like one…you’re too sweet to be anything but sweet and cute!Hugs!

  8. Frannie Farmer on March 9, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Oh you made me cry. I am more than a little emo today .. but I am sure I would have cried anyway. That is just so darned beautiful!

  9. Kristie (J) on March 10, 2007 at 12:11 am

    I’m late but I had to say when we were going to the cancer clinic, I noticed a lot of women who were bald and to me they looked beautiful – they really did. They signified they were fighters, they were warriors and they were all so dignified.It’s a wonderful picture of you and Todd and one you should be very proud of.

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