It’s All About The Boobs – Part I

I know, I know. It’s been two weeks since I tantalized you with the promise of three boob stories. Sorry to leave you hanging. [*snort* That made me think of the old song I used to sing to my mom, “Do your boobs hang low…” But I digress.] Without further ado, here is part one of the boob trilogy.

For most of April and the first week of May I was lied to left and right. Todd lied to me, my friends lied to me, my kids lied to me… and I didn’t know. It’s a little scary how easily these people, people who supposedly care about me, could tell me falsehood after falsehood with a perfectly straight face. Let me give you a small sampling of the bevy of deceptions perpetrated against me.

Early April:

Katie
Katie: I need a tropical recipe for school for extra credit.
Me: How about Hawaiian Chicken? It’s easy and yummy.
Katie: Okay.

Late April:

Laura
Laura: Do you think Katie would want to babysit for us on the 7th?
Me: Probably. We have a surprise birthday party to go to, but I’m sure she would sit for you.
Laura: Great.
Me: So what are you going to do?
Laura: Bill and I are going on a date.
Me: Good for you!

Friday, May 7:

Taylor
Taylor: I’m going to Nick’s.
Me: Are you going to come to Mark’s party?
Taylor: Yeah. We’ll probably swing by at some point.

Todd
Todd: Katie just called and said there’s a leak under the sink at Bill and Laura’s.
Me: Oh, no.
Todd: She said it’s not bad. We’ll just stop on our way to Mark’s party and you can come in and see Laura’s new tile.
Me: Alright. I’ve been wanting to see it…

It went down like this: I walked up to the front door with Todd so I could “see Laura’s new tile while he checked under the sink.” When the door opened up there were all these people on the stairs and in the hall yelling “Surprise!” Turns out Todd had spearheaded a surprise party for me with some of our neighbors to celebrate five years of being cancer free. Mark’s wife, Amy, was in on it, too. She happened to be throwing a surprise 40th birthday party for him on the same night and even told him he was going to my surprise party.

They got me good! I had absolutely no inkling of their diabolical plan – the bunch of consummate fibbers. They had a luau for me, hence the Hawaiian Chicken recipe Katie wrangled out of me. Todd played the guitar while Katie sang “Grace” by Saving Jane – one of my favorite songs she sings. After that Taylor played his guitar some while we all sat around, eating and laughing and just having a good time. But the fun didn’t stop there. Oh, no it didn’t. There was also a cake. A boob cake.

(I blocked out the nipples ala Girls Gone Wild commercials so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of my virtuous readers. Or reader. Whatever.)

And that’, mi amigos, is Part I. I promise to endeavor to attempt to try to get Part II up in a more timely manner.