More Than You Wanted To Know

I have this problem. It’s a very serious problem and I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I tell things that I shouldn’t. Not about other people. I’m really good at keeping those kinds of things to myself. No, I tell things about myself that I shouldn’t. A good example would be when I was complimented on a new dress at work several years ago I said, “Thanks! I got it for $5.00 at the Goodwill!” Those of you who have been reading my blog for the last three years or so are probably thinking about the posts I wrote about my breast reconstruction and nipple tattoos. That may have been TMI as well, but I don’t know how to stop and this post is just going to be more of the same.

This morning as I was fixing my coif I thought to myself, “Self, you really need to call Darlene about those roots.” Or if I was His Girl I would say that I’m in desperate need of some hairapy. Before I left for work I told Todd I was going to spend some time grooming tonight. You know: plucking the eye brows; waxing the lip; maybe masking to get rid of the zit that popped up last night. That sort of thing.

As for my wardrobe, well, I just wore one of my usual comfy v-neck tees, jeans and my Crocs because they’re about the only shoes that don’t bother my blisters (another post for another day).

So I get to work and the Children’s Ministry team is having their weekly meeting and they’re all looking sharp. Of course, they’re all young and pretty and always look good even when they’re wearing something like, oh, I don’t know. A t-shirt, jeans and Crocs. But today it was nice make up, great hair, cute outfits. Sharp. Then I remember they’re shooting The Feed, a video announcement for Sunday mornings.

I’m standing at the copier making — can you guess? — copies, while the girls are talking to Dave, the videographer, about the video details. Then I hear my name and see all these slightly sinister smiles directed toward me. Turns out there were seven announcements and only six ministry leaders.

I tried to ignore them and kept copying, hoping and praying they would forget about me and go about their business. But no such luck. Now I’m going to have to witness all my flaws on the big screen Sunday morning. *cough* I feel a cold coming on. I’m afraid of hearing something like, “Man, that chick needs a shave,” or some such.

And the worst part? I’ve just given a ton of people something to look for on Sunday morning. Why? Because I can’t keep my yapper shut! Or my fingers still.

Oh well. I much prefer to be behind the scenes, writing a script or something like that. But it’s all good. I’m just working for Jesus, keeping it real. Know what I mean?