Today was the spa day with my friends, Kris, Sheri & Laura. The plan was to meet at Kris’ at 11:30 and then get our massages in shifts – two at 12:00 and two at 1:15. Have you ever had a massage? Do you have any idea how much work goes into preparing for a 60 minute massage?
For me there was the little matter of pre-massage deforestation. First I had to hit the underarms. Let me give you a brief history of my armpits. Because of the mastectomy I can’t ever shave my left underarm – a precaution to hopefully prevent lymphedema. So when I had my reconstruction tattoos I had laser hair removal at the same time. It was all in the same general area anyway. After one, two, three sessions the hair seemed to be gone. Sadly, it wasn’t. It’s very thin and sparse and kind of hard to see, but when it gets around an inch long you know it’s there. But who really cares when it’s winter and nobody is seeing my armpits anyway. Except for Todd because I sleep in a tank top, but I tell myself it’s exotic in a very bohemian, European kind of way. My choices were either braid the hair or Veet it. I chose the Veet because: A) trying to braid your own armpit hair is really awkward and nearly impossible; and B) braided underarm hair is gross.
Once my upper body was satisfactorily hair-free I jumped in the shower with a brand, spankin’ new razor and my pot of salt and oil scrub. I learned a long time ago to do the salt scrub before shaving and not after. So I scrubbed up good and then shaved my legs. I shaved my thighs twice, certain I got everything. Except for that I ended up dry shaving the patches I missed. After the Veeting and the scrubbing and the shaving and all that I realized I needed to paint my toenails. That chore done, I finished getting ready and then it was time to get dressed.
What does one wear to a massage? I hemmed and hawed and went back and forth between my nice jeans and a cute top or my tracksuit. I decided on the comfortable tracksuit with the elastic waistband. The thought of taking off my jeans and the seam indentions all over the place was bad enough, but the image of my totally relaxed self trying to put my jeans back on made me cringe. So the tracksuit it was with flip flops because I’d waited too long to paint my toenails.
I walked down to Kris’s and she and Laura were all cute in their jeans and sweaters and nice shoes and there I was. Then we picked up Sheri on our way out of the neighborhood and she was all cute in her jeans and sweaters and nice shoes. *sigh* No matter. I was comfy.
Because of my weight and my reconstruction issues and scars and whatnot I was pretty apprehensive about it. But once I lay down on the massage table in the darkened room with the relaxing music and the burning candles I forgot what I’d had to be anxious about. It was 60 minutes of sheer bliss. And my pants went back on quite nicely, thank you very much!
We were all so mellow when we reconvened after the massages. Really, really mellow. And hungry. So after our day at the spa we went out for a delicious late lunch/early dinner. And talked. And ate. And split a bottle of wine. And talked some more. And ate a ton. And talked even more. It was one of the most delightful days I think I’ve ever had.
When I got home I sat on the love seat and chatted with the family. Then I laid my head on the arm of the love seat. Then I put a foot on the love seat, soon to be followed by the other foot. Katie walked over to the quilt chest for something so I asked her to cover me up with a blanket. She took my crocs off and tucked me in all nice and cozy and I passed out. Taylor left with a friend, the pizza guy came, Todd and Katie ate and then Katie left with her friend and I was oblivious to most of it.
The girls and I decided we’re not going to wait a whole year to do this again.
We’re thinking of doing it twice a year, maybe even four times a year. Heck, if it wasn’t for the money I’d say once a week! As chill as I am right now my family should put their resources together and send me on a regular basis.