Pig Got Your Tongue??

This morning as I was playing on the computer washing dishes I received a phone call from my friend Barbara. Matt Silver – our Youth Minister – had asked her earlier if she could drive up to Souderton and pick up something for Sunday night’s youth group. She had prior commitments and was calling to see if I would be able to make the 30 minute jaunt.

Not a problem since all I was doing was playing on the computer dusting and vacuuming so I said sure.

This is what I picked up:

Do you know what this is? No? Let me show you a closer shot:

Yes, folks. I drove to a meat packer and picked up ten pounds of pork tongues. Here’s the conversation I had with Matt after I spoke with Barb:

Me: Am I going to gag when I see them?

Matt: Naw. They’ll be in a bucket with a lid so you won’t even see them.

Me: Phew!

Matt: Can you boil them for me?

Me: Laughing. Um, yeah. I guess. (It did sort of occur to me that I would have to see them, but I tried not to think about that.)

Matt: Great!

Me: What exactly are you going to do with them? (I was afraid of the answer.)

Matt: I’m thinking of something like bobbing for apples. Maybe I’ll put them in a big bowl of spaghetti.

Me: *gasp* *giggle* You are seriously demented.

Matt: Yeaya.

So then my sister, Terri, calls and I tell her where I’m headed and that I’m going to boil them when I get home.

Terri: Oooo! It’s going to make your house smell!

Me: Yeah. I was thinking about that.

Terri: You need to open all the windows and doors and buy a ton of Fabreeze and scented candles.

Me: Good idea.

Terri: Then you’ll stink up the entire neighborhood and all the neighbors will talk about those crazy Arkansans.

Me: *snicker*

Terri: You know, “they go to the sex church and their Southern cooking makes the whole place reek”.

Me: Thanks.

The drive to Souderton was beautiful, but wet. I found the place, went in the office, paid for the tongues, asked how long to boil them for, never got an answer because no one seemed to know, and was told to go back the way I’d come, past the stairs and to “customer pickup”.

So I went back the way I’d come, past the stairs and started looking for “customer pickup”. All I found were metal doors with ominous looking “Danger” signs. And the farther I explored the smellier it became. I finally went back to the office to ask for directions again. This time she told me to drive around, past the tractor-trailer rigs and the door with the stairs and ramp was customer pick up.

The person in the white lab coat, surgical cap and industrial eye and ear protectors
threw me. I was only there for tongues. What kind of experiments do they perform in there? Whatever. By that time I just wanted to get my bucket and go because I was afraid the stench was going to stick to my clothes and my nose hairs.

I drove back to town and called Todd as I pulled into the high school parking lot to pick up Taylor and Kristen.

Me: Guess what I have in the back of the car.

Todd: I have no idea.

Me: Pig tongues.

Todd: What?!?!

Me: Pig tongues. Ten pounds of them.

Todd: Why??

Me: Matt needs them for Sunday night and Barb was busy so I told her I’d go get them.

Todd: That’s disgusting.

Me: It gets worse.

Todd: How?

Me: I have to boil them.

Todd: WHAT?!?! That will stink up the house for days!

Me: Yeah. I thought of that. And Terri mentioned the same thing.

Todd: Yeah.

As much as the thought of smelling boiled pig tongue for a week concerned me, what I was really afraid of was seeing them. All those tongues floating around in whatever liquid they’re packed in. And then taking them out and putting them in my stock pot. Just the thought makes my tummy feel all squicky.

So after some thought I called Matt and told him I had the tongues, but I couldn’t boil them here because: a) I didn’t want to smell up everything; and b) I was afraid it would make me puke. I called Todd afterwards about something else and found out he had called Matt, too.

Poor Matt. He’s coming by tomorrow to pick up the bucket and taking them home to boil. Sure hope they don’t smell up his house!


  1. Burg on October 26, 2007 at 10:45 pm

    That’s disgusting and a little disturbing. What’s even more disturbing is that as I was reading this I was contemplating tongue broth and tongue gravy.. Mmm mmm mmmm gag.

  2. Rosie on October 26, 2007 at 11:35 pm

    Uh yeah…ditto on the disgusting and disturbing. Pig tongue. Who knew?

  3. Becky on October 26, 2007 at 11:41 pm

    ROTFL *squirting tears* Thats was so dang funny, Jenster…I could hardly finish reading because my eyes were blurry from tears (the laugh-so-hard-you-cry kind).Only you, Jenster! You are the only person I know game enough to drive 1/2 an hour to pick up 10# of pig tongues for the youth group (and EWWWWww…BOBBING for pig tongues?! Wh-wha-whaaaghh…) “Come on down to the sex church, folks…we’re gonna have us a rip-stortin’ good time at our Fear Factor Fall Festival..) LOL!!!

  4. creative-type dad on October 27, 2007 at 2:03 am

    If I h ave nightmares about pig tongue, I’m blaming you…

  5. Sherry on October 27, 2007 at 10:05 am

    oh gag…I thought this was just some made-up spooky halloween type thing and at the end you were going to say “boo”. I wish you had..now I have this image floating in my head…little piggies that don’t say “wee wee wee all the way home”…On an even gorier note…is Matt SERIOUS about having these kids dunk for boiled pigs’ tongues in spaghetti?!? 😮

  6. Monnik on October 27, 2007 at 10:54 am

    Blarf. I made the mistake of reading this while eating my breakfast.But it was funny. 🙂

  7. D.O.M. Dan on October 27, 2007 at 11:07 am

    You tell a funny story. What does Matt think will be appealing to anyone to bobb for pig tounges in spaghetti?Speaking of tounge, there is a favorite Mexican dish prepared with beef tounge. My mom and grandmother used to make it when I was a child. In my opinion, liver tastes worse.

  8. Jenster on October 27, 2007 at 12:57 pm

    Burg – Tongue gravy?? EWWW!!!Rosie – Being the suburban girl I am I had no idea you could buy pork tongue in any quantity.Becky – LOL! Actually, Barb would have done it if she’d had time so apparently I’m not the only one crazy enough to drive 30 minutes for disgusting pig byproducts.CTD – Go ahead. I’m pretty sure I cause all manner of bad dreams.Sherry – Serious as a heart attack. The kids love the whole “Fear Factor” thing and Matt is crazy enough to think of this stuff. Like he says, the grosser the better as far as the kids are concerned. Makes you kind of wonder about the future of our country, doesn’t it? (I’m pretty sure teens are the same in Canada so maybe I should say “our countries”.)Monnik – Sorry to spoil your breakfast! :o)Dan – Hiya! Good to see you around. As for my story telling, I’m just blessed to live a sitcom life. That’s all. And I’ve heard tongue isn’t so bad, but that’s the kind of thing I really don’t need to experience for myself.

  9. Dev on October 27, 2007 at 1:33 pm

    Ewww. I’m glad you didn’t end up having to boil those at your house. Be sure to let us know what Matt did with the pork tongues.Again, ewww.

  10. Angry Woman on October 27, 2007 at 8:49 pm

    A bucket of pig tongues. Ewwww, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I’ll give it to the guy for thinking of such a yucky dare for Halloween. I wonder how his house smells about now.

  11. Lynilu on October 27, 2007 at 10:39 pm


  12. Gretchen on October 29, 2007 at 12:49 am

    I bet they eat them in China. My hubby just got back, and let’s just say, not much goes to waste in the old meat department at most of the Chinese restaurants he’s frequented…I know we Americans are big-time food wasters, but pig tongue? Sounds like a Survivor episode to me. It’s good that you left the boiling of the tongue to Matt.

  13. Tanya on October 29, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Icky. I have always wondered if Youth Pastors have some kind of class in “Gross things to do to catch teens’ attention”. I bet it is part of the curriculum and they must plan a disgusting event to graduate.

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