The Bionic Ovaries

It’s official. I truly am too much woman.

I saw my gynecologist yesterday to discuss what’s to be done about my girly parts. I had originally been scheduled for a D&C and endometrial ablation at the end of May because I was having horrid bleeding episodes due to the changes and thickening of the endometrial lining caused by the use of Tamoxifen. My gynecologist had finally convinced me my ovaries had completely shut down, I was NOT producing estrogen and, as such, my bleeding was not a period.

I had to cancel the procedure because at that time I had rashes and/or blisters on my entire body. I was concerned how my overly sensitive skin was going to react to the anesthesia and minor trauma to my body. But since I wasn’t producing estrogen (my sworn enemy) it wasn’t a big deal.

Turns out I AM producing estrogen. Post-menopausal levels are 27 and below. I had blood taken a week ago and those levels were 92. So I am now scheduled for a total abdominal hysterectomy and bilateral salpingooopherectomy (meaning they’re taking both of my very stubborn ovaries) on Monday, July 2. I’ll be in the hospital at least one night, possibly two. If I stay two nights then people everywhere across this great nation will be setting off fireworks in my honor when I come home. The public support is overwhelming.

The doctor looked at my chart yesterday and said, “Since you had a C-section I can just go through that incision.” I told her that would be fine or I had another one from hip to hip from my reconstruction in December. It was her choice. Since I’ve given up on my nude modeling career it doesn’t really matter.

We left her personal office and walked down the hall to the scheduling nurse. Being the prepared girl I am, I whipped out my calendar so we could find a good date. And when I say calendar, I mean calendar. As in wall calendar. I don’t think I would have gotten as many strange looks if I’d had a pocket calendar. Maybe I should look into one of those.

I really hadn’t planned on having another major surgery just six months after my last one, but whatever. As I’ve mentioned before, I really like the feeling of going under and I’m excited about the prospect of being medicated for a day or two. Sounds like fun.

The worst part in all this is that our modified plans for the summer may have to be remodified. The kids and I had planned to drive to Arkansas at the end of the summer, but that remains to be seen. We’ll just have to see how well I do. I dreaded telling them we may have to cancel, but they both took it well. **WHEW**

By the time summer is over I expect to be rash free, blister free and female issue free. I also wouldn’t mind being taller, thinner and tanner. I’m just sayin’.


  1. Dance Chica on June 22, 2007 at 11:07 am

    Well good luck with your surgery, hon! I swear I love reading your posts ’cause you’re always so upbeat and positive through all you go through. I think you’re a really strong person and very inspirational to me. Just so you know. *HUGS* 🙂

  2. Angry Woman on June 22, 2007 at 11:16 am

    Good luck on the surgery. I’ll be praying for you.

  3. Em on June 22, 2007 at 11:34 am

    When all this finally happens, I’ll be wishing the best for you. And it is always sad to hear someone has given up on the nude modeling. 😉

  4. Slackermommy on June 22, 2007 at 11:37 am

    You are just amazing! I love your spirit. I wish you the best with your surgery. I’ve been period free since December and I don’t miss a bit of my dear old friend Aunt Flo.

  5. Monnik on June 22, 2007 at 11:48 am

    I’m also amazed and inspired by your spirit and ‘glass half full’ attitude. Good luck with the surgery. Hopefully this is the last of your serious issues and you can get back to normal!!

  6. Tara Marie on June 22, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    I can’t believe how positive you are. I’m on the verge of tears just imagining going through this.Hugs, thoughts and prayers.PS My mom uses a wall calendar too, she wraps her bills in it and carry’s it every she goes. Best investment I ever made was an 18 month notebook style one from B&N, funky pink with lots of different colored/sized dots.

  7. Jenster on June 22, 2007 at 1:24 pm

    I don’t know that I’m positive. Just resigned. I know I need to do this and I know I’ll feel better when it’s over. And then, like I said, there is the advantage of pharmaceutical intervention…

  8. Rosie on June 22, 2007 at 3:12 pm

    Well I think you are stuck with us thinking you are amazing, but you are also very amusing. I had my hysterectomy 10 years ago after battling endometriosis for years. It was like being released from prison, I swear one of the best things to ever happen to me. After that who needs the nude modeling?

  9. Shauna on June 22, 2007 at 5:20 pm

    What?? You’re giving up the dream of being a Centerfold?? LOL! Just kidding….I’ll be praying for you as you go through this surgery. You’re choice to remain positive is inspiring. God doesn’t change with our circumstances and it’s awesome to see you holding to that truth!

  10. radioactive girl on June 22, 2007 at 6:12 pm

    I LOVE that you whipped out a wall calendar. I would totally do the same thing…we are just about the same person in so many ways. One of them being that the stupid ovaries will just not stop working! I only have one ovary, had a hysterectomy and they left the ovary and my cervix telling me that “ovaries almost always stop working in cases like mine”. Mine still works and I know this because although I have had a hysterectomy, I still get a tiny min period every month. Come on! After all the surgery I can’t even just be done with that???? I am unbable to carry a baby, and yet I still get to have a period?Good luck on your surgery. I have a huge scar from hipbone to hipbone from mine because they thought there was cancer in there. There wasn’t, but they didn’t want to take any chances I guess.If you have any questions about the surgery (although mine was a bit different and not as complex) let me know. A friend recommended for info for me, and I found it interesting. Now we will be hystersisters in adition to being blog friends. Good luck! I’ll be thinking of you!

  11. Jenn on June 22, 2007 at 8:31 pm

    You will do well. There are so many positives about it. I can’t believe how c section scars come in so handy. If you have gone through reconstruction…you can get through this.

  12. Burg on June 22, 2007 at 8:39 pm

    I would like to sign up for the “thinner and tanner” package too.I would have loved to have seen you pull out that calendar!! Best of luck on that surgery. Anymore those things are a breeze I guess. At least that’s what dr’s say..

  13. Lori on June 22, 2007 at 11:25 pm

    Rash free, blister free and female issue free is a great way to be. Drugs are, indeed great. And I’m right there with ya on the wall calendar. If it’s not up on the wall calendar, it doesn’t happen.Good luck. I know you’ll feel so much better afterwards, after you’re recovered from the surgery and all…

  14. CindyS on June 23, 2007 at 12:01 am

    Lord have mercy. I tell ya, you are too funny but I’m sorry that you just haven’t been catching a break lately. Nude modeling may still be okay, I mean, you could do a Dove ad!I really hope that you will be able to make your trip and that the rash, blister and female issues will have all moved on!CindyS

  15. Jenster on June 23, 2007 at 9:09 am

    Radioactive Girl – Another friend of mine just told me about hystersisters yesterday! I’ve only glanced at the site, but it looks fantastic.Our similarities are getting to be kind of spooky. LOL If only I was all athletic like you, too. Maybe someday…Cindy – even if I was “fit”, I have scars all over. I look a bit like a patchwork quilt. lol I don’t think even Dove would want me!

  16. Karen on June 23, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about your surgery. I’ll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way! All the best to you!Lurkily yours,Karen 🙂

  17. Travis Erwin on June 23, 2007 at 1:32 pm

    Hope all goes well.

  18. Bookwormom on June 23, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Hi Jenster- I hope all goes well with the planned surgery & you’re free of medical issues at last! It has been a long, long road for you and your family. Hugs and prayers to all~

  19. April on June 23, 2007 at 11:47 pm

    I was laughing aloud when I got the the calendar part of your post. I think next time you should take an oversized pencil too!! You would really get some looks but you can’t do that with out posting the reaction you get. Your sense of humor reminds me of my sister Greta’s. It does me a lot of good. Thanks friend.

  20. Kris on June 25, 2007 at 10:58 pm

    Keep smiling, **big hugs**God has a plan, sometimes it makes you go “Are You sure about this?”, but the plan is there. You are in my prayers, sweetie 🙂

  21. Pokey Puppy on June 27, 2007 at 7:14 pm

    I just happened to run across your blog today… i am so impressed. I have many medical issues including female isues, cancer scares and constant screenings for my whole life… and i must say… you are so inspirational and up beat! Good luck with the surgery.. and i will DEFINATLY be back.

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