The Whole Work Thing
Nearly 14 years ago when Todd and I decided to take the leap of faith and have me quit work it was a scary, scary thing. Taylor was three and Katie was a baby and financially it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. It was the exact right thing to do for the family, though. By the grace of God we made do and I think we both figured I’d go back to work once Katie started kindergarten.
When that time came, however, it seemed as though that was when I was really needed. I spent a lot of time at the school getting to know the teachers and staff and I was home in the afternoons with the kids to help with homework or whatever. I didn’t have to spend my evenings or weekends doing the chores I was able to get done during the day, when there was a sick child there was no stressing out over which parent would stay home, and summers and holidays weren’t a problem. All four of us became very accustomed to me being at home and we all liked it that way.
Todd went from a meager salary to a decent salary which eased things quite a bit. I ended up doing a little legal and medical transcribing from home for “fun money”, but eventually quit doing that because I was having to type in the evenings which defeated the whole purpose of me staying home. (Not before I took Todd to St. Louis for a long weekend and a Cardinals game his 38th birthday, though!)
My lack of employment was a blessing in 2005 – first with the impending move and then with the cancer treatment. When we finally did make the move it was great to have the freedom to explore our new surroundings with the kids on a whim, especially since they didn’t really know anyone at first.
Whenever I would mention me going back to work to Todd – not because I wanted to but because I thought maybe I should – he would always say he likes that I don’t have to work. And before the feminists in you start ranting, it wasn’t a chauvinistic thing. Our lives are just much easier with one of us being at home. Still, it was my choice.
So I chose not to work, though last year I did work 7 hours a week at the preschool. At the end of that time I decided not to go back because, along with some physical issues, I felt I needed to concentrate on writing and speaking. Guess how much real writing I’ve done since that decision was made. If you said “Bupkis” you would be correct. Not only that, but if my “job” is to manage the house wouldn’t you expect the house to be managed? Yes, well, it’s not. I have become a horrible steward of my time and I haven’t been able to figure out how to fix it.
Yesterday I met with a gal at a place about a thing – I’m not really sure how much I should say yet. I will say this, though. It’s a part time job, 9:00 to 3:00, Monday through Thursday doing mostly things I like to do. I say mostly because I figure every job has those tasks nobody wants to do, but I don’t know what those would be yet. I don’t have to give up my Home Team and my plans for speaking to various MOPS groups are encouraged. With my limited view it definitely looks like a God-thing.
It’s in God’s hands now. If this is where He wants me it will be the place I end up. If not, then I’ll move on. I’m so very grateful this isn’t a case of necessity. It makes it easy to wait on Him and in the meantime maybe I can get my schedule-impaired act together.
I hope things work out for you. You’re lucky that you got to be a stay at home Mom throughout most of your kids childhood. I hope your new job works out and its something you enjoy.
Sounds so similar to my timeline. We couldn’t afford for me to stay home when we started having kids, but we just knew it was the right choice for our family. I am incredibly fortunate to continue to honor that decision that T. and I made together. Not only do I feel good about the stability it offers our family, it has allowed me to continue my discernment process and education.As far as your potential job, I know you will keep your ears peeled for the calling of the Holy Spirit on this one. I came home from the Chicas trip really doubting my calling and what I had learned over the last couple of years. After really unpacking things mentally and scrutinizing them, I realized that I am most definitely on the right track and headed in the right direction.I was at a luncheon for local women in ministry last week. Our devotion was focused on our calling to our various ministries. I’m one of a handful of the group really trying to discern God’s will and direction for our gifts and talents. Later that day, during some reading time, my eyes fell fresh on this well-read passage:”Delight yourself also in the LORD, and he shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, trust in him also, and he shall bring it to pass.” — Psalm 37:4-5As long as we’re keeping our minds open to what he is showing us, I know that we will all end up exactly where we are most needed.Good luck!!!
Excellent. I’m sure it will work out well, one way or the other. And you certainly deserve it.As for the feminist thing, I just don’t get it. In my view, everybody — men and women — should do what’s right for them and their family. If you and your husband decide it’s best for the family for you to stay at home, what’s wrong with that? And what would be wrong with you working? Nothing.Too many people attach too much global significance to a family’s personal decision. Good luck, kiddo!
I hope it works out for you. If not I’m sure He’s got something even better in mind. I find it interesting that you felt you had to defend, to the inner feminist in all of us, your choice to stay home. I think the whole point of the movement was to give us the CHOICE. To work or not to work. And if not working …..worked for your family and situation…more power to ya!
I love your attitude about it. It’s really the best way to think it over. Put it in God’s hands and you never have to worry about it.Hope it works out for you!!
You’ve done the best thing you could do, putting it in God’s hands. Not having kids and being a kid once, heehee, having “mom” at home makes for a special relationship between mom and kid. Not all women can stay home, you were one of the blessed ones! I just hope that when I have kids I’ll have that option. Hope it all works out, either way, God will do whats best!
I hope you land the thingy majiggy and get to do all the doo hickeys that you love and bla bla bla you know what I mean
If it’s God’s will it’ll work out. I’ve begun to think about what I want to do when all my kids are in school, and I’m just not sure I wanna go back to work. I’d like some time at home, and I’m finding that there is always more than enough to do with school, homework and extra-curricular stuff.
Praying. I, too, am glad it’s not a necessity thing. Keep us posted, Hero girl. 🙂
Goodluck. I hope it works out just the way it’s supposed to for you.And I really am way jealous of all the wonderful years you’ve had at home. I was fortunate enough to work part time while the kids were little, and I truly miss it. It’s the best of both worlds, really.
praying for you this very day 🙂
Exciting prospects–and if nothing else, at least made you think about it!
It’s His plan, and who are we to mess with it?The MOPS thing is good. I loved it when we had speakers.Good luck on the thing.HUGS
That is awesome! I can’t wait to hear more about it!
Jen- I just wanted to stop in and say hi. You’re on my feed reader, so I rarely comment anymore, but I felt like I need to put my oar in the water so to speak. lol :)Whichever way it works out, I second dorky dad’s comment about not needing to justify the decisions you’ve made with your spouse about the best care of your family. Sometimes the most pressure comes from inside ourselves. It’s not always the outside world that puts the most pressure on us women. I’ll say prayers for you and your family. Hugs~
Jen I don’t think many realize the sacrifices that stay-at-home parents make. There are very substantial trade-offs for each family that makes that decision. It is indeed a “leap of faith!”. Being home with your children is not a privilege reserved only for those that can “afford” it. It is also not an undertaking for the lighthearted; it takes going without many “necessities,” leaning HEAVILY on God and His help, serious resolve, and LOTS of creativity!This g’ma can testify … you will NEVER regret more than a minute of the time you have invested in your children … no-matter-what … for the rest of your life!This is a very blessed and special time, that passes oh-so-quickly. You, Jen, are being a faithful steward of what God has entrusted to you. Be encouraged!I so ditto DD and GGG! Psalm 37:4-5 IS the KEY!The Lord WILL put your foot down firmly on the next step He has for you!