Nearly 14 years ago when Todd and I decided to take the leap of faith and have me quit work it was a scary, scary thing. Taylor was three and Katie was a baby and financially it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do. It was the exact right thing to do for the family, though. By the grace of God we made do and I think we both figured I’d go back to work once Katie started kindergarten.
When that time came, however, it seemed as though that was when I was really needed. I spent a lot of time at the school getting to know the teachers and staff and I was home in the afternoons with the kids to help with homework or whatever. I didn’t have to spend my evenings or weekends doing the chores I was able to get done during the day, when there was a sick child there was no stressing out over which parent would stay home, and summers and holidays weren’t a problem. All four of us became very accustomed to me being at home and we all liked it that way.
Todd went from a meager salary to a decent salary which eased things quite a bit. I ended up doing a little legal and medical transcribing from home for “fun money”, but eventually quit doing that because I was having to type in the evenings which defeated the whole purpose of me staying home. (Not before I took Todd to St. Louis for a long weekend and a Cardinals game his 38th birthday, though!)
My lack of employment was a blessing in 2005 – first with the impending move and then with the cancer treatment. When we finally did make the move it was great to have the freedom to explore our new surroundings with the kids on a whim, especially since they didn’t really know anyone at first.
Whenever I would mention me going back to work to Todd – not because I wanted to but because I thought maybe I should – he would always say he likes that I don’t have to work. And before the feminists in you start ranting, it wasn’t a chauvinistic thing. Our lives are just much easier with one of us being at home. Still, it was my choice.
So I chose not to work, though last year I did work 7 hours a week at the preschool. At the end of that time I decided not to go back because, along with some physical issues, I felt I needed to concentrate on writing and speaking. Guess how much real writing I’ve done since that decision was made. If you said “Bupkis” you would be correct. Not only that, but if my “job” is to manage the house wouldn’t you expect the house to be managed? Yes, well, it’s not. I have become a horrible steward of my time and I haven’t been able to figure out how to fix it.
Yesterday I met with a gal at a place about a thing – I’m not really sure how much I should say yet. I will say this, though. It’s a part time job, 9:00 to 3:00, Monday through Thursday doing mostly things I like to do. I say mostly because I figure every job has those tasks nobody wants to do, but I don’t know what those would be yet. I don’t have to give up my Home Team and my plans for speaking to various MOPS groups are encouraged. With my limited view it definitely looks like a God-thing.
It’s in God’s hands now. If this is where He wants me it will be the place I end up. If not, then I’ll move on. I’m so very grateful this isn’t a case of necessity. It makes it easy to wait on Him and in the meantime maybe I can get my schedule-impaired act together.