Two Down, One to Go

Apparently I’m back from hiatus. Does ten days qualify as a hiatus? And is it just me, or do you guys think of a hiatal hernia when you see the word “hiatus”? Just me? Hm.

Anyway, today was the final touch up on my tattoos. Happy I am that’s over because it means my reconstruction is officially complete! I see the plastic surgeon in July – I think. Could be June. I’m not sure. Guess I’d better check on that. – for the final word and then I will be released. Which I suppose means I have to be happy with the results.

“Happy” isn’t exactly the word I would use. “Resigned” maybe? No. That’s almost too harsh. Oh, I don’t know what the proper adjective would be. All I know is, while the results aren’t what I had imagined, they’re not so bad and I’m okay with them. And really, the issues I have with the girls are private matters now that I’m not taking my shirt off to every person in a lab coat. Meaning most people will never see what the problems are.

Speaking of people in lab coats, I wonder what my last appointment will be like. I’m used to seeing the plastic surgeon with a felt tip marker in one hand, a camera in the other and a plethora of students behind him.

Not only did I have the touch ups today, I also had my second round of laser hair removal under my arms. I was cursing myself (in my curse language which is usually something like, “Dangit, Jen! You’re such a bonehead!” – I’m such a potty mouth) because I forgot to take some ibuprofen before the appointment. I also cursed my lack of leather accessories because it left me with nothing to chomp down on. I figured my Crocs would taste like rubber and that’s just icky.

So I’m laying back in the chair, left arm up over my head and eyes shut tight behind metal goggles, anxiously wondering when she’s going to zap me. You know how they say you don’t remember pain? What a crock! I had no trouble remembering the sizzling, smelly snap each time a hair follicle was obliterated and I wasn’t looking forward to it today. So I kept trying to picture gloriously hair-free underarms in an effort to convince myself the pain was worth it.

Turns out the first treatment was such a success that there wasn’t even half the zapping going on today. Oh, some of them hurt pretty bad. They liken it to a rubber band snap, but I liken the worst zaps to being vigorously poked with an extremely hot needle. Last time she put ice packs under my arms afterwards. This time they weren’t needed.

I go back for my last laser treatment on June 30th. Hopefully that will be the end of it and I’ll never ever ever have another unwanted underarm hair for as long as I live. If only I had the money and the pain tolerance to do my legs and bikini area. Looks like I won’t be throwing away my razors any time soon.


  1. Em on May 30, 2008 at 8:22 pm surely don’t make the laser treatments sound like fun! But I’m glad for you that some of the other stuff is nearing the end.

  2. Monnik on May 30, 2008 at 9:09 pm

    yowza. that sounds painful. But… hair free underarms? That would be worth a lot of pain.Glad you’re about to be done with the reconstruction… that will be a nice thing to have checked off as done, right?

  3. mer on May 31, 2008 at 12:08 am

    Youch! Hey, congrats on winning HisGirl’s giveaway.

  4. Jenster on May 31, 2008 at 8:48 am

    Em – Yeah, the laser hair people are gonna love me!Monnik – Yes! One of the reasons I feel like I’ve finally moved on. Reconstruction turned out to be waaaaay more involved than I had imagined.Mel – Thanks!! I can’t wait to read them!

  5. Dev on May 31, 2008 at 9:18 am

    Hey Jen ~ So glad you’ve returned from your hiatus. I’ve missed your posts 🙂

  6. Travis Erwin on May 31, 2008 at 11:41 am

    Since I have more hair follicles than Sasquatch I don’t think I could survive that kind of abuse.

  7. His Girl on May 31, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    Oh! I am so glad to see you back! Congrats on your win!!! I’ll ship the books out when I get your mailing addy (hint, hint!)

  8. radioactive girl on May 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    I have been wishing for those laser hair removal sessions, but now that you have described them, I’m not sure I would want to do it. Shaving isn’t so bad I guess. I still want to have done it, but don’t want to actually do it. Like a lot of things I do actually.

  9. Sing4joy on May 31, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    Um yeah – I no likey’d the hiatus. Congrats on the Sisterchicks – that’s good stuff. Also – guess what?? I got a new camera too!!!

  10. Gretchen on June 1, 2008 at 2:17 am

    OH Congrats!!!! On the book win, I mean. I guess congrats are also in order for your 2nd to last masochistic, but worth it laser hair removal. I expect to see an arm pit picture shortly…Just to be sure you’re not foolin’ with us or anything.And re: the adjective…How about…relief? Another mile stone has been met and conquered, and though your parts aren’t as they were before, neither is your mind, spirit, and soul. Victory, Baby. Victory.xxxooogretchen

  11. SweetAnnee on June 1, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    I know you are ready to MOVE on. Can’t believe you got your underarms hair free.. I want a hair free face.Tattoos and nipple for me in October I think..after radiationsmiles and hugs, Deena

  12. Katybug on June 2, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Welcome back! I have really missed you!!! Not “Happy”, and not “resigned”? How about “pleased”? Or “content”? “Satisfied”, perhaps? I love figuring out words. I think Mr. Roget is hot. ;-)Thanks for your report on the laser hair removal. I will be completely content with shaving from here on out. I am such a sissy. So you must be wondering how I’m going to go through labor in September? I’m not…scheduled C-section!!!

  13. Drewpy Drew on June 2, 2008 at 8:32 pm

    When a doctor tells you that it will only hurt a little, it means that they have never had whatever it is they are doing to you done to them.Peace out. 🙂

  14. Sarah S. on June 3, 2008 at 9:20 am

    I am having my tattoos done in August I think. I can’t wait to see the final result. It will be nice to have it all done!Ouch ouch that hair removal stuff sounds painful!

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